The Farce of Monkey Island
by Artisa
Summary: Farce: a comic dramatic work using buffoonery and horseplay and typically including crude characterization and ludicrously improbable situations. It didn't take long after the events of EMI for trouble to stir up again, but this time it won't be Guybrush doing the rescuing. Alternate continuation to EMI, has nothing to do with Tales. I'm bad at summaries lol, give it a read :)
1. Always outnumbered

**Hello my lovelies! Long time no see! I know the MI section of ffnet is kind of dead and I'll most likely not get many reviews for this but this fic has been in the making for a reaaaally long time, I mean I started writing this after I played Escape (better late than never I guess? *nervous laugh*) during a time when no one was really sure there'd ever be an MI5, and I wrote the majority of it before playing Tales. That being said, it does NOT have anything to do with Tales though funnily enough you might find some similar concepts here and there (one of the reason I loved Tales so much - it had almost everything I could ever hope for in a MI sequel! ^_^)**

**Why did it take me so long to start posting this? I have a tendency to go on hiatus and abandon projects for long periods of time, didn't want post anything till I was sure I'd finish it. :P A word of warning though, I'm going to do something incredibly silly waaay later (this is me trying to continue on a story idea I had like a decade ago when I was like a decade younger lol)**

**Anyhoo, I'd like to give a special shoutout to my fan, friend and beta reader KissMeHardyA113 for her input and for pushing me to finally post something! You rock! :***

**And without further ado, may I present my alternate continuation to Escape from Monkey Island :)**

* * *

Mêlée Island

_Here is where it will begin again._

The island was quaint and thriving, full of pirates on every corner of the island drinking, stealing, swordfighting, generally merrymaking and doing what pirates do best. It was everything an island full of pirates should be like, for now at least. It would not take long for her reputation to spread she knew, and that was exactly the plan.

The dark-skinned woman looked once more around the little store and sighed. This was where she was needed, where her next encounter would be. She had managed to move everything she needed into the humble emporium and now she was done setting up shop. All that was left now was to tell them of the news.

The full-figured woman made her way past the shelves of chicken bones, bat droppings, monkey bladders and other such ambiguous jars and pots to the back room. She sat at the small wooden table therein and the candle atop it flared to life magically. She picked up the fountain pen and poised it over the enchanted parchment. She hesitated, closing her eyes, the most recent failed attempt still painfully fresh in her mind, making her eyes water if only for just a moment. Brushing it off sombrely and composing herself, she finally put pen to paper and wrote.

_It failed again. His name is Guybrush Threepwood._

A few years later.

Deep in the Caribbean, a ship floated lazily with the currents of the sea. Guybrush's latest ship put his current count of number of ships seized from the ever looney Mr Fossey to two. It was a fairly big ship, the sails were a little worse for wear and the banisters could do with another coat of paint but what really set it apart was the figurehead. The atrocious monkey figurehead was a sight to behold, having hypno eyes and a mouth that had been carved to be permanently screaming froth.

The Rabid Monkey in all its glory... was pretty ugly. Okay actually it was butt-ugly. And creepy to boot. In fact it was the second creepiest ship he's ever... no, no this would be the creepiest. But that was okay, it meant it was the most intimidating ship Guybrush has ever owned, and it was seaworthy enough.

It was also under attack.

By two ships at that.

"You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee!"

"I look _that _much like your fiancée?"

The double peg-legged pirate was pushed back a few more steps, only to step on a loose board Guybrush recognized all too well.

"Ha HA!" Guybrush triumphantly stomped his foot on the other end of the board. The end the enemy pirate was on tilted up and with a startled "Aargh!" he lost his balance, tripped over a pile of rope and toppled backwards over the banister and into the sea with a satisfactory splash.

"Score!" Guybrush fist pumped. He took out his captain's log and flipped it to the back, adding another tally mark under his name.

Looking good, even if he did say so himself!

"HONEY! Could you give me a hand here please?" Called out the familiar British accent of one Elaine Marley-Threepwood, the most beautiful woman in the world.

Guybrush looked up. It was a very one-sided battle – their crew was ridiculously outnumbered, a number of them already raising their hands in surrender and another few abandoning ship when an opportunity presented itself.

In the fray of enemy pirates pummelling his rapidly failing crew, Guybrush saw his wife, a blade in each hand, just manage to push back three pirates in an impressive feat of will and sword-mastery. Guybrush grinned and clapped his hands in applause.

Elaine didn't have the chance to roll her eyes as she parried another attack from an enemy pirate, blowing a bang of hair out of her face as she did so. "Not exactly what I had in mind, dear!"

"On it, honey!" Guybrush was about to go to his wife's aid when a man twice his size stepped in front of him. He was a huge burly man who looked more ape than human, muscles tensed and ready, a lower tooth sticking out of a mouth on a head that appeared too small for his body, and Guybrush was unfortunately standing in his shadow.

Guybrush gulped and raised his sword. The giant of a pirate reached out a gorilla-like hand and snapped it in two.

"Aw nuts."

Elaine only glanced briefly at the sight of Guybrush running and screaming like a little girl as a huge pirate took chase around the ship before she turned back to the fight at hand and sighed inwardly. Looks like she was on her own for this one.

Guybrush picked up a knocked out sword as he ran and turned; the giant punched through it, breaking it in half, and Guybrush ran again, finding another sword, only to have that one break too. "C'mon gimme a break!" He cried exasperatedly, picking up another sword and continuing to run around the deck, pirates of both crews ironically pausing long enough to get out of the way of the bulldozer of a man, before resuming the fight.

Without realising it he ran onto the same loose board he used to topple the balance of the peg-legged pirate before, and with the ginormous man close behind, the guy unknowingly stepped heavily onto the other end of the board, sending Guybrush flying high and away from the ship.

"WAAAAAAH oomph!" Guybrush landed rather ungracefully on his face on the deck of one of the bully ships. He got up quickly and grabbed a rope with the intention of getting back to his own ship where the real fight was, but then something caught his attention.

The deck of the bully ship was, for all intents and purposes, empty – everyone both enemy and ally was now fighting tooth and nail on his own ship. Or so he had thought anyways.

There was someone tied to the main mast of this ship. Well 'tied' wouldn't be the word for it. The dark-skinned woman was blindfolded, gagged and chained to the mast for whatever reason and it didn't look like she'd be leaving any time soon. Black hair was weaved into hundreds of skinny braids to be neatly pulled back and kept in a bun with a couple of creepy looking skull hairpins that looked suspiciously like voodoo pins; skull patterns were carved into the mismatched seashell earrings hanging from her ear lobes; matching strings of what looked like fangs were tied around one of her sleeveless upper arms as well as one of the ankles of her bare feet and around her neck. The white top matched the pantaloons that flared at the bottom, a pink border at the hem with white skull patterns printed on it.

She seemed vaguely familiar.

More out of curiosity than anything, Guybrush untied the blindfold. Hazy dark brown eyes met his. Her pupils contracted from the sudden light and she shut her eyes again, then blinked a few times to get accustomed to the light, then finally looked at him. Her eyes widened with surprise as she straightened with a jolt. She stared at him, taking in his appearance from head to toe, an expression of shock ever present on her face. A moment of silence passed between them before she snapped out of it and tried to say something.

"Mmm! Mmm mmf mmmf mmmph!"

Guybrush cocked his head in confusion. "What was that?"

"Mmm mm mmph mmm mmmph MMPH!"

"I can't understand you, you're mumbling!" Guybrush said, perplexed.

She rolled her eyes and then her eyes glazed over as at the same time, the gag inexplicably fell loose. She fixed him with a glare.

"Are you _serious_?"

"What?"

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"Okay! Geez, no need to yell!" His sword couldn't cut through the chains.

The woman groaned. "On second thought, you'd better release the good captain and the rest of the crew first – they're down in the brig and will know how to get these off."

"Right." he turned to leave, then paused. "Wait, how come they're down there and you're up here?"

"NOW please!"

"Okay okay!" He ran off in the direction of the brig. "Touchy." he murmured when he was out of earshot.

"Helloooo? Anyone down here?" This ship being fairly big had a fairly big brig too, he noted as he tread a little carefully on the creaky wooden floor of the short hall, looking back intermittently. Never know who might be sneaking up to knock you out from behind after all.

"Eh? Oo's that?" A voice asked from behind the last door in the hall. One curious hazel eye peered at him from behind a barred window.

"I'm Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirateTM!" Guybrush proclaimed. "And I'm here to help!" Some shuffling and murmurs could now be heard from beyond the door at these words. Looks like the whole crew was in there. "Where's the key to the door?"

"It be with the scallywag with the two peg legs!" Someone informed.

The one he managed to knock overboard not five minutes ago? Whoops.

"Uh... are there any spares around here?"

"No laddie, that be the only key." another man said.

Guybrush thought. "Any chance any of you have a lock pick set on you?"

"Sure." groaned an Irish accented female voice sarcastically. "Why else would we be sittin' here waitin' to be rescued fer days now?"

Guybrush remembered something. "Okay, uh, be right back! Don't go anywhere!" Guybrush ignored the comments to that last line as he made his way back to the woman chained to the mast.

"Hi again!" He said cheerily, "Mind if I borrow this?"

"Borrow wha- hey!" the woman protested as her neatly pinned up weaves came flying into her face.

"Thanks!" Guybrush clutched the big creepy looking hairpins and made his way down to the brig again and proceeded to pick the lock with the pins, tongue sticking out in concentration.

"How'd you guys get _in _here anyways?" Guybrush asked, tinkering with the lock.

"Arrr them cowards done caught us off guards they did! Not followin' the rules of pirate law of' engagin' in a proper fight but attacking us while we was sleepin'!" Someone complained.

"Arrrrr!" Other pirates agreed distastefully.

"Aye, even managed to catch the Voodoo Girl off guard, don't even know where they're keeping her." Said the hazel-eyed man.

"I think she's the one chained to the mast, and those pirates are kind of bullying my crew..." There was a satisfying click and the lock fell away with a clang. "Think you can give us a hand?"

The hazel-eyed man wore an eyepatch over his other eye, had a short brown stubble covering his prominent chin, was considerably shorter than Guybrush, and happened to be wearing a captain's hat.

"Lad," he grinned as he stepped out, "it'd be our pleasure."

"Ya har! You're okay!" Laughed the captain a few moments later when the whole crew was out in the open after retrieving their weapons.

"Depends on your definition of 'okay'." Grumbled the chained woman. "Do you mind?" She rattled the chains for emphasis.

"Of course." He grinned, procuring an ornate little key from within his hat. "Pinched this off the swab when John 'ad 'im distracted!" he unlocked the chains and they fell with a clatter. "Guess these voodoo cuffs are really their gold's worth then, eh?"

"Hardly." said the woman, shaking her hands free in relief. "They are resistant to voodoo themselves but don't suppress it at all – that's why they had to cover my eyes and mouth to stop me hexing anything I could see!" From the tone of her voice her annoyance at the simplicity of the act was clear.

"Well, no harm no foul! For the record though, that was some real entertainin' mojo you tried back there!" he seemed in a very good mood now that he wasn't in the brig.

"Yeah well, I try." she shrugged. "Ah, pappapishu..." she murmured, rubbing her sore wrists. "I'll take that." She stated, spotting Guybrush's hand and snatching back her hairpins to do up her hair again. Even with the majority of it bunned, her long braids still managed to reach partway down her back. "So, what now Captain Smink?" She asked.

The captain smiled. "It be payback time, lass!" He declared to 'arrrr's of agreement.

* * *

**End of chapter 1!**

**I'll be pleasantly suprised if I find anyone still around to review this! XD Please pleasantly surprise me! :)**


	2. Never outgunned

**Oh my goodness I got not one but TWO reviews! :D And they ****were the bees knees ^_^ lol, thank you very much Osmans Privateer for the input! :D And to both of you I know it's a little obvious LOL but she's not supposed to be very mysterious anyways! I am no writer by any means so please bear with me, never posted an ongoing fic before and I already hate a lot of it but it's all in good fun and a good learning experience :) Keep the constructive criticism coming by all means though! :)**

**I'd also like to re-iterate that I wrote most of this before Tales, so there's no crossroads stuff since I didn't know about it at the time and I tried my best to keep my pre-Tales mentality when I wrote the rest of this :P If you want a Tales-related fic though, I did do a post-Tales one-shot if you want to check it out! :) I'm actually pretty happy with that one lol.**

**Onwards!**

* * *

Elaine hated to admit it but she was starting to get tired. She must have been fighting for at least an hour now and there was still no sign of any end to the constant onslaught of enemy pirates. If anything, they had increased as the number of her own crew members still fighting dwindled into single digits, and that's excluding Guybrush. Just where did he disappear to anyways? Typical that he had to disappear at a time like this – she crossed her swords to defend against the attack and pushed the offender back, before efficiently knocking the sword out of his hands.

Three more came this time. She parried one with one hand, then another with the other hand, and prepared to swerve out of the way of the third when with a clang, someone else blocked him for her.

"Hi honey!" Guybrush greeted, pushing off the third guy and engaging in a good old fashioned sword fight.

"Guybrush!" Elaine exclaimed. "Where have you been?"

"Getting help like you asked." Guybrush replied easily.

"Huh?" Elaine looked up as she heard the battle cry of many new pirates storming the enemy pirates. She blinked in surprise as a couple of them rammed into the two that were fighting her, only to push them right off the edge of the ship. Somewhere in the fray, she could recognize what was unmistakably voodoo magic picking up pirates by the underwear and tossing them overboard.

Elaine allowed a small smile to grace her lips. Trust Guybrush Threepwood to deliver just when she needed him the most. She proceeded to join in taking down the now-outnumbered enemy pirates.

One of the enemy pirates running around in a panicked state was tall gangly man wearing a red bandana, a silver earring and had a few broken teeth in a mouth reeking of halitosis.

The Voodoo Girl cracked her knuckles as she recognized him to be the jerk that knocked her out before putting her in chains. "Oh I'm going to thoroughly enjoy this." She grinned a little malevolently at the pirate before her and prepared to hex him, but before she could, the man went flying off the deck by a hit from some sort of blue energy. Startled, she looked around to find the source of the attack.

"Ha HA! Take THAT you big old bed-wetting doody head!" Guybrush cried triumphantly, knees bent and palms held out in front of him. He noticed the woman staring at her incredulously. "Oh sorry, did you want that one?" he asked sheepishly.

He didn't wait for an answer and neither did she have time to give him one when they were both lunged at by a couple more pirates.

It wasn't long afterwards that the two crews collectively defeated the enemy pirates and looted their treasure hold for their troubles.

Elaine smiled as everyone cheered at the sight of the offending pirates sailing away on their original ship. Guybrush was next to her cheering too, raising his sword high and swinging it like an excited child. Elaine grabbed him by the collar and abruptly pulled him into a kiss, silencing him immediately. It satisfied Elaine to see his eyes widen and his face and ears turn red, like they always did when she caught him off guard.

The sounds of laughter, cheers and wolf whistles reached their ears and Elaine broke it off, leaving Guybrush in a daze with a goofy smile on his face.

"Alright, show's over! Everyone back to your posts!" Elaine ordered her somewhat immature crew.

Captain Smink found his way to Elaine through the retreating masses and tipped his hat off to her. "An honour an' a pleasure to have fought by yer side, Governor."

"I'm not the governor anymore," Elaine reminded, "and your help was also very much appreciated." Elaine said graciously, beginning a short conversation with the man.

The voodoo practitioner from before found her way to the still-dazed Guybrush and, wiping the amused expression off her face, cleared her throat. "Excuse me Captain... Guybrush Threepwood, was it?"

Guybrush, who was shamelessly daydreaming of things he'd do to his wife later, shook himself back to reality and straightened up. "Only the mightiest pirate in the Caribbean!" Guybrush declared, a finger in the air. "That's me, Miss...?"

The young woman smiled and shook her head. "My name's not important." She waved it off. "If you don't mind me asking, are you _just_ a pirate?"

"What?" Guybrush seemed offended. "Of course not! I'm a _mighty _pirate!" he emphasized the 'mighty'.

"Heh, sorry I guess I should have been clearer – I meant do you practice the voodoo arts as well?"

"Ohhh! Uh, well... no not really..." He scratched the back of his head.

"Then how did you know how to do that? With that pirate back there?"

"Huh?" Guybrush didn't know what the woman was talking about at first. "Oh! You mean that Monkey Kombat move!" He said, emphasizing it by punching the air enthusiastically a couple of times.  
"That was just something I picked up on one of my many piratey adventures." Guybrush bragged.

"Hmm, how interesting." she unexpectedly grabbed his hand and yanked it forward, examining the palm lines closely. "Seems you have a knack for it. You managed to pull a move like that out of the blue with absolutely no prior voodoo training or practice at all!"

"Well, uh... I _did_ make a voodoo doll once." Guybrush said fairly.

She was still looking at his palms, tracing some lines. "Even something as trivial as that. Clearly it runs in your blood, says so right here in your palm – if you weren't a pirate you'd make one hell of a voodoo practitioner."

"Hey!" Guybrush took his hand back, slightly offended by the notion that he was meant to be anything other than a mighty pirate. "It's not like I just knew how to make a voodoo doll – the Voodoo Lady was the one who gave me the juju bag!"

"The Voodoo Lady of Mêlée Island you mean?" The young woman snapped to attention, face brightening with excitement. "Is she still there?"

"She was the last time I checked. In fact we're headed to Mêlée right n-"

"Land ho!"

She snapped her head up at the declaration and ran to the edge of the ship to stare eagerly at the approaching land mass far off in the distance as both ships drifted that way with the current.

"Arr, we be right off course! Mates, back to the ship and start correcting course!" Smink called out, starting to make his way to his ship.

"Aye captain!" The crew who weren't back on their ship yet made their way there now across the plank that temporarily connected the two.

"You coming, lass?" Smink paused in his stride. "The island you wanted to make port in is far off course."

The Voodoo Girl bit her lip. "Actually Mêlée is also on my list, so I think I'll take a little detour from the route, that is, if it's okay I tag along with these captains?" She looked to the Threepwoods questioningly, not entirely sure if the 'captain' title was something that could be shared, but it seemed she had guessed right.

"Sure thing." Guybrush said as Elaine answered. "Of course."

The girl smiled at her own captain as she made her way over to him. "This is where we part ways, my friend."

"Aye." Said Smink, clasping hands with the taller woman. "It be a good run. You have everythin' with ya?"

"Everything I have is right here." she confirmed, indicating the khaki juju bag slung over her shoulder that she picked up before boarding the Rabid Monkey.

"Cap'n!" Someone on his ship warned as the thing started drifting away.

"Then I be off, lass! I hopes ye finds what yer lookin' fer!" He made a running jump to just land on the plank of his ship before it had sailed too far out of reach, earning a cheer from his crew. Then he turned and waved with the rest of the crew as the girl waved back, beaming.

"Wow, you're popular." Guybrush commented.

She laughed. "You would not _believe_ the journey I've had so far." She shook her head. "So! About the Voodoo Lady, you're _sure_ she's there now?"

"Yeah I _think_ so, I mean she tends to move around a lot-"

"Oh of course she's there, dear," Elaine reminded Guybrush, "she asked us to pick up that box of supplies for her, remember?" She said as she made her way down into the hold.

"Ohhhh yeah, that's right." Guybrush snapped his fingers as he remembered and followed Elaine into the hold to help her haul some stuff up onto the deck. "How could I forget? Her voodoo stuff always creeps me out, I don't even know what's in there. Or want to know."

Elaine chuckled. "Yes well, you certainly must give her credit for her natural talent in all things enigmatic." She and Guybrush picked up a particularly large piece of luggage and carefully carried it up the stairs.

"Like her name?" Guybrush jabbed.

"Nice one." Elaine replied before they laughed.

Neither of them would ever have known it, but it would be the last time they laughed together in a long time.

* * *

**(Yeah I basically split the first chapter into two parts because it was a little big)**

**Let me know if you like it! :)**


	3. Welcome home

**Helluuu! I'll try my best to update this weekly but it might get a little difficult what with exams and all! :P Again a special thanks to my beta KissMeHardyA113! :* Read her stuff if you can, it's awesome ;)**

**Onwards!**

* * *

It didn't take very long to finish transferring all their personal baggage onto the deck as the Rabid Monkey docked.

Guybrush sighed and breathed in Mêlée Island and all its eccentric smells, from flowers and herbs to smelly pirates and their grog. It had been a great few months on the high seas but boy was it good to be home. Almost a year after an Australian land developer and his Ultimate Insult tried to take over the Caribbean, the entire Tri-Island area had thankfully returned to its charming old foul-smelling-grog-swilling self, and Guybrush wouldn't have had it any other way. He couldn't wait to regale his battles of the high seas to his buddies at the Scumm Bar!

Elaine, being the organized woman that she was, was making a final check that everything was there, ticking off the items on a checklist.

"You dropping that crate off to the Voodoo Lady's?" asked the young voodoo priestess, indicating the large unmarked crate on deck. "That'll be my first stop so I can take it there for you if you'd like?" She offered.

Elaine frowned. She believed in the good of people as much as the next person but she'd never be foolish enough to trust something like this to a complete stranger. _We're all pirates here after all._

"Er, that's really not necessary, thank you. Guybrush here can handle it, can't you dear?"

The young witch chuckled. "Smart woman." she complimented her wariness, but Guybrush wasn't all too pleased.

"Aww but I wanted to go brag about my victory at the Scumm Bar!" he whined.

"That will take hours, honey, you should deliver the Voodoo Lady's supplies first."

"Aww alright." He succumbed.

Elaine picked a few things, walked to the edge of the gangplank her crew just set up and took in a deep breath, smiling at being home, before exiting the ship.

Guybrush regarded the crate a little warily. It was a fairly big crate. Big enough to fit him in it. Guybrush hoped there weren't any live snakes in there like last time, and shuddered slightly. He bent to pick it up. "HUURR" he managed to lift it about an inch before dropping it entirely. _I'm gonna get a hernia if I try to chug this alone._

"A little help here please?" he turned and called out. There was movement behind him, he turned back to the crate in time to see the new girl sprinkle something from her juju bag onto the crate.

"How's that?" she asked.

He bent down to pick it up, expecting it to be only slightly less heavy and was surprised when he almost crashed the thing into the boom of the mast way above him.

"Wow! Thanks!"

"Eh, don't mention it."

"Think I could have some of that for later?" He asked brightly.

"...don't push your luck."

Five minutes later he was carrying the feather-light object easily into town, the voodoo girl strolling along beside him, hands casually behind her head, keeping a poker face as he regaled the battle they just fought with a few extra details thrown in.

"And then I gave him the chair – boy the scallywag didn't even know what hit him!"

"Yeah, I was there and I gotta say I don't really remember that." She said bluntly.

Guybrush frowned at her indifference. "What do you wanna see the Voodoo Lady for anyways?" He asked, deciding to change the subject to something his listener might actually respond to.

She raised an eyebrow and paused, regarding him in highly amused disbelief as if he was missing something blatantly obvious. Finally she shrugged, looking very entertained. "One voodoo witch to another." She answered lightly.

Guybrush raised his eyebrow at the odd answer. _What _is_ it with voodoo women and their innate need to be all mysterious? I mean here's _another_ voodoo chick that doesn't have a name!_

The doors to the International House o' Mojo magically opened, and they entered the establishment where the Voodoo Lady in question was waiting.

"Aaah, Guybrush Threepwood," she greeted, "thank you for picking up my order for me!" The crate sailed out of his hands and landed some distance away by her side.

"No problem."

"And I see you've brought a familiar face with you too. Hello, child!"

The woman next to Guybrush grinned widely, squealing, and practically jumped into the Voodoo Lady's waiting arms, hugging the older woman tightly and kissing her warmly on the cheek.

"Hi, Mom."

"What?" Guybrush staggered back in surprise, tripped on himself and landed quite ungracefully on his bottom.

The two women separated to turn to him, questioningly. "Is anything the matter, Guybrush?" asked the Voodoo Lady politely.

"Uh..." Guybrush sputtered some before he finally managed to say. "Mother and daughter?!"

The voodoo girl chuckled and stood next to the voodoo lady's chair, leaning casually against it. "Took you that long, did it?"

True enough, with them standing next to each other like that the resemblance was uncanny – they had the same eyes, the same nose, and the same chin. They even dressed similarly – the hem of the voodoo girl's trousers bore the same skull print as her mother's dress. Guybrush idly wondered how he kept missing this stuff. That explained what the woman was finding so funny a few seconds ago.

"I... er..." he looked from the Voodoo Lady to the daughter back to the Voodoo Lady again before clearing his throat. "I, uh, didn't know you were married..." _let alone had kids! _Maybe it was because he'd known her this long, but in Guybrush's eyes, she didn't look old enough to have a kid _that_ age.

"You never asked." the Voodoo Lady replied pleasantly. "And by the way, thank you for helping my daughter out of that trouble aboard that ship."

"Uh... sure!" He was still trying to wrap his head around this new information. "So then, where were you actually headed before those pirates got to you?" he directed his question to the Voodoo Lady's daughter.

"Well like I said, Mêlée _was_ on my list anyways, but I was actually on my way to someplace else – just going around visiting family for the spring break."

"Who did you manage to visit so far?" intervened the Voodoo Lady.

She laughed a little sheepishly. "Just Uncle Lemonhead on Dinky Island, I didn't get very far."

"That's alright, you have time now. So, how is my brother?"

"He's good! He complained a bit about the fact that everyone had to move out of Blood Island a while back, something about an idiot and a lactose intolerant volcano god, but he's looking forward to moving back to Monkey Island soon now that the monkey popula-"

A crash within the dingy store made them both look up at Guybrush, who seemed to have stumbled into a shelf full of jars containing who-knows-what, and was now currently covered in bat lungs and monkey bladders, though he didn't seem to notice.

"Lemonhead is your _brother_?!" He backtracked. "You guys are _cannibals_?!"

The Voodoo Lady smiled that ever enigmatic smile of hers. "Of course not, I left the tribe many years ago. Our cannibal brethren consider us 'vegetarians' as we don't eat humans."

"Just as well," her daughter chipped in, "do you know how much _cholesterol_ those things have?""

"Uhh..." Suddenly Guybrush felt a little too uncomfortable in this room. "Well would you look at the time!" He jittered. "I... think I just heard my wife calling!"

"Hang on a sec."

Even as the voodoo girl swiftly walked over the damage to the jars undid itself and bat lungs and monkey bladders seemed to fall off of Guybrush in reverse into their respective holders. Then out of nowhere, she hugged him from the side, tightly and briefly. Guybrush couldn't even get out a 'huh?' before she quickly let go and then punched him lightly on the arm.

"Thanks for getting me out of that mess, no matter how _indirectly_ you did it." Her smile was friendly, nothing more.

"Uh... sure."

"Okay, see ya 'round!" She waved as he staggered a little clumsily out the open door of the International House o' Mojo.

The Voodoo Lady raised a disapproving eyebrow at her daughter, who shrugged a little apologetically. "I'm a hugger. Couldn't resist!" She said.

Guybrush, on the other hand, stared for a few moments after the door closed. _Well that was a little weird... Meh._ He shrugged it off and wandered in the general direction of his ship. He spotted Elaine, or rather Elaine's legs as the rest of her was hidden behind a large pile of luggage.

"Ooh, lemme get that for you!" He helpfully took the pile off her hands.

Elaine smiled at the sudden reprieve. "Thanks sweetie. Did you deliver the Voodoo Lady's things?"

"Yeah, and guess what! You know that voodoo girl I so heroically saved back there? Turns out she's her daughter!"

Elaine blinked. "Huh. Well that explains a lot."

"Right? Kinda obvious in retrospect when I think about it too..."

"Ah well, that should be the last of it," said Elaine, referring to the luggage, "I have a bit of an errand to do at City Hall so I'll see you later after you're done talking to Grandpa and visiting the SCUMM Bar, alright dear?"

"You got it, Laineykins!" came Guybrush's muffled voice from behind the luggage, not catching the silent chuckle the pet name earned from his wife as they parted ways.

And off he went with the pile, whistling as he went. He couldn't really see over the large heavy pile of luggage that Elaine seemed to not mind carrying, so he walked slowly, using his peripheral vision to guide his way.

"Psst."

He was walking past the alleyway just before the church when he heard it.

"Psst, over here!" someone hissed from the darkness of the alley.

Guybrush ignored it and walked on, remembering all too well what happened the last time he followed a suspicious voice into a dark alley.

It didn't do him much good as, a moment later, he found himself being grabbed by the shoulders and forced backwards into the alley, the luggage falling and scattering as a hand clapped his mouth to prevent him from shouting out. The hand wasn't removed until he was well in the dark of the alley to be shoved to the cobblestone ground unceremoniously. He got up immediately and spun around, on the alert, but it took a moment for his eyes to adjust to make out his unlikely assailant.

"Largo? You're alive?!"

The vertically-challenged right hand man of LeChuck blinked at this, his expression of malice changing to one of disbelief instantaneously. "Of _course_ I'm alive, where the hell would you get another idea from?" he growled.

"Uh..." Guybrush scratched the back of his head. "Gee I dunno, I just haven't seen you around for a few games so I kinda assumed..."

"Bah! You always were an idiot, Sheepgood! Did you forget? Wherever you go, on sea or on land, you ca-"

"I know I know, you can't ever hide from Largo LeGrande." Guybrush deadpanned, rolling his eyes.

The sarcasm was lost on Largo, who laughed. "Ye see mates?" he told his skeletal crew, that Guybrush just noticed. "No one can forget a dastardly pirate with a rhyming motto!"

"Don't you mean a dastardly bra-wearing pirate?" Guybrush corrected. Largo's face flushed a lovely shade of vermillion as his crew around him snickered.

"Ah shut your trap you staggering sea-lion! I've had enough to hear with you – take him away me hearties!"

The skeleton crew began to converge on Guybrush.

"Uh..." he began to back up. "Let's not be too hasty, why don't we just let bygones be bygones?"

Two pairs of bony hands grabbed his arms and Largo pulled out something from behind him. It seemed to be a lantern of some sort except instead of a glass container there was a strange looking human skull. Fog or smoke or something wafted out of its eye sockets and mouth. Largo held it out in front of him, and whatever was inside started to glow an incandescent yellow.

"Murray?" Guybrush asked automatically.

No answer.

"Guess not." Guybrush shifted uncomfortably. "So... what's with the-" all of a sudden the skull opened its mouth and a white glow emitted from it. The glow grew in size and intensity as if he was zooming into it until all Guybrush could see was white for a few moments, and then he saw no more.

* * *

**Did anyone else expect Largo to make an appearance in Tales? I mean Guybrush was whistling his theme song and everything! I can honestly say it was the only thing missing to make the game absolute perfection lol.**

**Aaand this is one of the few times I let Tales influence my writing, just because I think "Laineykins" is such a cute pet name! XD**

**Also I'll be very impressed if anyone caught the blatant ****plagiarism/****reference to a certain mixnmojo prank dialogue. ;)**


	4. What was that?

**Short chapter this time, and posting it a little earlier than usual because GUESS WHAT?! I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST yesterday! :D :D :D Manual too, baby! XD Didn't have time to send this to my lovely beta, so sorry if there are any errors!  
**

**Edit: Oh my, I've been so busy I didn't even realise I got reviews! Special welcome to the new guest, your review made my day! :) As for OsmansPrivateer, I love you man - you are the EXACT critic I see in myself! I know to what you're referring to and I'd say you're right, when I first started writing this like a decade ago my OC was an extreme Mary Sue and then one day I grew up and looked over this and thought "Whoops" XD So I've tried my best to water her down as much as possible over the years but she's the reason I kind of hate this fic so much and alas, I do need her for the story so oh well. :P**

**I've said it once and I'll say it a million times more - I'm no writer, just a fan with some crazy ideas, so I won't be offended if people stop reading this somewhat failing attempt at making a childish idea into a story ;)**

**Read on!**

* * *

It had been years since she'd seen her mother, years since she had household chores to do, so the Voodoo Girl was perfectly fine helping her mother clear up a bit around the store while they caught up. The Voodoo Lady herself wasn't moving from her ever-occupied spot on the chair, but that didn't stop her from levitating items on and off the shelves as needed.

"Guybrush Threepwood." The girl said slowly.

"What about him?"

She shook her head. "I'm just wondering what's worse – not having a name, or having a name like 'Guybrush Threepwood'." She couldn't help it, she snickered. Out of principle, the Voodoo Lady smacked her lightly on the back of the head with a levitating rolled up newspaper, making her giggle even harder.

"_You_ will not mock his name, child." She chastised, though there was a hint of humour on her face.

"I know, I know."

"How long is your break for then?" The Voodoo Lady asked, continuing the conversation they were having previously.

"A few weeks. I definitely would have come last year or the year before or something, but I think your letter was a few years late." The young priestess opened another crate and various jars and books promptly flew out of it.

"It was designed that way. No matter, I knew it would reach you when you were needed." the older woman replied airily.

"Yet more enigmatic hoodoo I see." sighed the young woman. "Needed for what exac-"

They both felt it at the same time.

The Voodoo Girl flinched as if she'd been hit in the back of the head and dropped the skull she was levitating over to a shelf as a result. She looked around alarmed.

"What was that?" She exclaimed.

Her mother closed her eyes and took a few moments before replying. "It seems your time on this island is about to be cut short." she replied sombrely.

* * *

Elaine walked out of City Hall with a sigh. Governmental officials. If there was one thing she didn't miss, it was having to deal with governmental officials all day every day. She grimly began reading the papers in her hands, automatically heading towards the mansion, but then dropped them when someone unexpectedly bumped into her hard. Elaine looked up to see who it was.

"Honey? Done telling your stories at the SCUMM Bar so soon?" After all, he _does_ take hours.

Guybrush didn't respond and continued to drag his feet slowly past her. His whole attitude was off – he was slumped over and his hands just hung limply by his side. He didn't make eye contact but seemed to stare at the ground as he walked. Elaine came to the first logical conclusion.

"Guybrush," she sighed, somewhat exasperatedly, "have you been drinking grog?"

Again, no answer as he continued shuffling past her.

Elaine had enough. She grabbed his shoulders from behind and turned him around. "Guybrush Ulysses Threepwood, you look me in the eye when I-" Guybrush put up no resistance to her steering and his head lolled to the side as if it was loose when she turned him. She stopped talking abruptly.

Something was wrong.

He still wasn't looking at her eyes. In fact his eyes were half closed and there was a bit of drool trailing down from the corner of his slightly open mouth. Add the fact that the expression on his face was completely blank then someone could mistake him for sleeping. Or sleepwalking as the case may be.

"Guybrush, sweetie?" she shook him lightly but got nothing. "Guybrush!" she shook him harder, his body moving much like a lifeless doll, but still no answer. "GUYBRUSH!" she punched him.

"Teeeeeeeee veeeeeeeeee..." Came the response when his head righted itself.

Elaine blinked. "What?"

"Haaaaaackey saaaaaaaaaack..." Guybrush droned monotonously.

Elaine's eyebrows furrowed. Even for Guybrush this was a bit much. She opened her mouth to say something when someone interrupted.

"Great Poseidon's ghost!"

When Elaine looked up she saw the voodoo girl from earlier run from the entrance of the International House o' Mojo to where they were standing, a look of alarm on her face. She stopped a few feet from Elaine and openly gawked at the docile husband, looking nothing less than dumbfounded. Then she began frantically looking all around, eyes darting to every building she could see in range, as if searching for something. "Where is it?!"

"Where is what?" Elaine asked, getting nervous by her whole manner, but what the voodoo girl said next made her heart literally skip a beat.

"His spirit!" She walked a few meters away briskly, still searching the ground, the sky, whatever she could see. "It couldn't have gotten far!" She said exasperatedly.

"What?! What are you talking about?"

"His aura! It's just not there! It means his soul isn't in there right now! What, did he astral project or something?" She ran closer to the dock and looked out to sea, searching the horizon for something Elaine couldn't see. "I can't see it anywhere!"

A dead weight seemed to settle in the pit of Elaine's stomach as the voodoo priestess-in-training's words sank in. She slowly turned back to look at her adorable numbskull, who didn't react to anything that was going on. For a few moments that seemed like an eternity, she couldn't breathe or move.

"Guybr-" her voice came out a hoarse whisper and she had to clear her throat to find her voice again. "...Guybrush?" she put a palm to his cheek. His skin felt slightly cool to the touch, but for all intents and purposes, the man before her may as well have been a corpse.

One last look at his deflated form, and she pulled him close to him, hugging him tightly. "What happened?" she whispered into unhearing ears, eyes slowly starting to water. Behind her, the voodoo girl searched on fruitlessly.

* * *

**Yes yes, anyone who's ever played a particular masterpiece of Tim Schafer's will recognise the references in this chapter! XD**

**How about a review for my troubles? :)**


	5. Guess who's back

**I am SO sorry for the delay, I thought I posted this days ago and it turned out I didn't! Sorry sorry sorry! Thanks to my beta as usual for picking out my sillies :***

* * *

Guybrush, or rather his body, sat numbly on the wooden floor of the International House o' Mojo. The voodoo girl leaned in close to look at him. "Hmmm..." she clicked her fingers a couple of times at one side of his head. He didn't look but he did turn his head slightly to the sound. She stood up straighter, and took his palm as if to look at it, then she pulled a skull-headed voodoo pin from her hair, and unexpectedly poked it into Guybrush's hand. His hand closed slightly and he somewhat flinched away from her.

"Well at least his reflexes seem to be intact." She murmured. She brought the pin up to eye level to examine the drop of blood on it. Elaine frowned, a little disturbed as the voodoo lady's daughter then wiped the pin off her tongue, licking off the blood. The voodoo girl tasted it, frowned, then outright spat it out at the bubbling vat next to her. With that there was a 'poof' from the vat as steam started rising and its colour changed from murky green to a hazy blue.

"That should do it." said the Voodoo Lady, satisfied, as her daughter obediently took her place on the poufy stool by her side.

"Do what?" Elaine asked. A few eye witnesses had confirmed that it was Largo they saw leaving the island with a strange lantern and a band of skeletal pirates, implying that LeChuck had once again revived somehow to torment the Threepwoods again. But taking his soul? When she dumbly led her husband into the voodoo emporium, the Voodoo Lady didn't seem the least bit surprised at what had happened, which was her nature, however she did act more sombre and enigmatic than was wholly necessary.

"This spell will be able to lead us to your husband's soul. Ah... may I see your compass?" The Voodoo Lady asked Elaine.

Of course the Voodoo Lady would know of the compass, she's psychic after all. The old heirloom was given to her as a child by her grandfather, who told her it was magic and would always lead her home. Even though the story was made-up, she kept the personal keepsake on her person always. Elaine unpocketed the old heirloom and handed it to her.

The Voodoo Lady held it over the vat by the chain, whispered a few words, then dipped the whole thing into the cauldron. She dipped it in twice, and when she pulled it out, the compass glowed blue for a moment before fading to its original colour. She handed it back to Elaine, who looked at it. The needle, which was pointing North just moments before, was now pointing in a different direction entirely.

"A compass to the soul. Literally." the Voodoo Girl piped up.

Elaine frowned at it. "Why don't I just save everyone the trouble and head over to Monkey Island now?" she sighed.

"Because the direction they are headed to is not towards Monkey Island." the Voodoo Lady replied instinctively.

"Then where are they going?"

"I'm not sure." The Voodoo Lady admitted. She threw a pinch of something into the vat and with a flash of blinding light the whole thing disappeared, leaving enough room on the floor for a large map to float down from one of the shelves and spread itself out in line with magnetic North. "Let's see."

The ever-uncharted Monkey Island was missing from the map, unsurprisingly, though Elaine had a fairly good idea which general area it was in, being a regular kidnappee and all. She placed her compass on the island labelled 'Mêlée' and three heads leaned in to trace the direction the needle pointed. Beyond a patch of uncharted waters that all pirates knew well to avoid due to unexplained disappearances, there were quite a few islands in the direction of the needle.

"What is he up to?" Elaine murmured. The Voodoo Lady was right, it didn't seem to be in the direction of Monkey Island. But why on Earth would that rotting bozo just take Guybrush's spirit instead of kidnapping the whole of him for torture like he usually does? What would he want with just his soul?

Elaine looked up to ask just that when she stopped. The Voodoo Lady was sitting very still, eyes rolled up into her skull while her daughter watched intently and waited.

"Is she alright?" Elaine asked.

"It's a vision." The girl replied, still waiting. A moment later the older woman blinked herself out of her trance back to the present.

"What did you see?" Her daughter asked.

The Voodoo Lady didn't answer at first but stared at her with an unreadable expression. Just when it was starting to creep the girl out she answered gravely. "A shadow."

"A shadow?" Elaine repeated.

The Voodoo Lady paused. This was not a vision she had wanted to see. "My child, do you recall what year it is by the Mujong calendar?" the question was directed to her daughter, who was taken aback.

"Um..." She hesitated as she tried to remember. "Yeee-no. No I don't." She admitted a little sheepishly.

The Voodoo Lady turned her attention to the pile of scrolls stacked on the shelf on her left, and summoned one of them to her. It floated into her hands and she rolled it open to examine it, her daughter leaning in for a look.

"Crap." The girl said after a moment.

"Indeed." The Voodoo Lady agreed. "LeChuck has returned. And it seems he has taken your husband's soul with the sole intention of offering it to the Djarru."

"The what?"

"The Sea Shadow, a creature that feeds on souls – should anyone offer a soul to this beast, it will grant the offerer any wish they desire, most probably you in this case. It didn't have to be Guybrush's soul but clearly this is another of LeChuck's attempt to exact his ultimate revenge on Guybrush. This creature only surfaces once in a hundred or so years to feed, before it disappears into the depths again to digest its spoils for another century."

"Yikes!" Elaine's breath caught in her throat. _Guybrush's soul being eaten by some monster for a hundred years?_ "How do I stop him?"

"For the ritual LeChuck will need some items. It seems he doesn't have them yet. If and when you reclaim Guybrush's soul, LeChuck will not stop until he gets it back along with the rest of the ingredients. If you truly wish to save Guybrush, you must find these items before he does to stop him from summoning the creature."

Elaine nodded, glancing at the compass. "So what are these items and where can I find them?"

"I don't know." The two other women's heads in the room snapped to the Voodoo Lady's face, the daughter's eyebrow raising quizzically.

"What?"

"This beast is purely aquatic in nature – I'm afraid this is outside my area of expertise. I only know there are ingredients, not what they are – if you want to know more you must seek out the Sea Witch Doctor. He will be able to tell you everything you need to know – he is an expert on all matters sea-related, hence his title." Beside her, her daughter coughed, her frown deepening. The Voodoo Lady carried on, unfazed. "He lives in a location unknown to most and it's not a place that can be found simply by use of a map, which is why I suggest you take a guide with you." She looked pointedly to her daughter. "My child?"

"Huh?" The young woman said dumbly as she openly gawked. She hastily coughed again to fix her expression, before saying. "Erm, Mom, are you sure all this is... necessary?"

"Of course." The Voodoo Lady said simply.

Something clearly bothered Elaine though. "But if what you said is true then LeChuck already has a head start on me! How am I supposed to catch up to him if I have to seek out someone else first?"

"Not to worry Elaine, my voodoo senses tell me that the location of the Sea Witch Doctor is en route to the places you need to go. If anything it'll be a shortcut, so you won't be losing much time. However I suggest you leave now if you want to catch up to them. My daughter knows the way – she'll show you where to go."

"Um, I _really_-" Said daughter interjected before the Voodoo Lady fixed her with a look. She threw her hands in the air, giving up. "I guess I will." she resigned.

* * *

**So as you might have guessed, this will be mainly Elaine's story for the time being (once upon a time I REALLY wanted to play Monkey Island from Elaine's point of view and well, what are fanfics for? :P) Guybrush's heroic antics come in a bit later though, don't worry ;)**

**I'll put the next chapter up really soon to compensate, I promise! Sorry again!**


	6. Role reversal

**For those who missed it, there is another chapter before this.**

**The exam that was taking up all my time is over now, though it was a pretty traumatic experience - guess time will tell if I passed it or not :S Anyhoo, relatively free now, so new chapter!**

**A thank you again to my lovely beta for the feedback :***

* * *

"Are you crazy?!" The young voodoo practitioner couldn't make heads or tails of this decision but waited until Elaine was long gone before she voiced her opinions. "We have dedicated so _much_ of our lives to this – _you _were the one that insisted we all keep our distance! It's the only reason this 'project' has lasted this long, and now you want me to be on the _same ship_ as Guybrush for a whole _journey_?!"

"You'll be fine." Her mother stated.

"I'll be-" The girl scoffed. "Every attempt thus far has failed, what makes this one so different?"

"I have a good feeling about Guybrush Threepwood." The Voodoo Lady said simply. "It'll be different this time."

The voodoo girl huffed and looked uneasily at the blank-looking pirate sitting on the floor. Knowing it would've been a waste of precious time to guide her soulless husband up to the mansion, Elaine had left him there under the care of voodoo mother and daughter.

"Don't worry, child. There isn't much damage any of us can do with him in this state." The Voodoo Lady continued. "And it will all have been for nothing if LeChuck succeeds." She added pointedly.

The girl sighed in resignation and tore her eyes away from the skinny blond figure. She silently walked up to her mother and hugged her, feeling insecure. The Voodoo Lady did nothing but return the gesture, and there they stayed until the young voodoo priestess-in-training was ready to talk again, continuing their discussion quietly behind closed doors away from prying ears.

* * *

Elaine briskly made her way through town towards the direction of the SCUMM Bar. Suddenly there was a boatload of things that had to be done – the majority of her crew were on shore leave and she doubted they would be willing to be back on the high seas so soon, she'd most likely need to find herself a new crew. She also had to retrieve all the essentials she'd just put back in the mansion, tell Grandpa where she was going, ensure the ship was seaworthy enough to sail again, the list just went on.

Elaine entered the SCUMM Bar, where she found the majority of the crew chugging down grog and abusing the dart board. Another pirate was on the chandelier. For some reason there was always a pirate swinging on the chandelier in the few times she came to the island bar. Elaine idly wondered if they all took turns to ride the thing while she scanned the bar for her trusted first mate and former poll manager. She spotted Estevan at a table at the far end of the room, drinking grog and chatting with some mates.

Elaine made a beeline for the table, carefully squeezing past the masses in the small room, coolly avoiding a stray dart and ducking under an inaccurately swung sword as naturally as strolling down the beach.

"Estevan."

Said crew member straightened when he saw who it was. "Ahoy, Captain! Care to join us for a drink?"

Elaine smiled a little tiredly at this. "Not today sailor, may I have a word with you in private?"

A few minutes later just outside the SCUMM Bar, Estevan was processing everything his captain told him.

"I'll understand if you don't want to join me for another journey on the high seas, but I'd appreciate it if you can find someone as trustworthy as you I can have as a substitute."

Estevan shook his head. "Ye'd be hard pressed to find anyone better than me Captain, I'm coming with you. And I'll see if I can scrounge up a crew what be sick of being at land."

Elaine smiled at him gratefully. "I know you will." she squeezed his shoulder. "Thank you Estevan."

Then she was off again, this time in the direction of the mansion, her head abuzz with many thoughts as she speed-walked through town again.

"Mrs Threepwood!" The Voodoo Lady's daughter exited the International House o' Mojo and caught up to Elaine as she was going past it, walking in step with her as she hurried. "Um, you should know I know squat about pirating – the only reason I'm here is because I managed to hitch a ride with a few pirates heading in the same direction as me."

"That's fine, you can learn the ropes as the cabin girl Miss... what was your name again?"

"I didn't tell you what my name was."

"Right right, makes sense if you're the Voodoo Lady's daughter." Elaine reasoned. "But this would be easier on everyone if we knew what to call you."

The voodoo girl shrugged. "I'm open to suggestions if you have any."

"You want me to make up your name?" she asked a little disbelievingly.

"Sure if it makes you feel any better." She shrugged.

Elaine considered. "How does Emily sound?"

"Hmmm, nice name but we're about to have a lot of names beginning with 'E' in this fic."

"Erm… Morgan?"

"That's a guy's name."

"Okay... Cindy?"

"...That makes me feel blonde."

"Yeah you're right. Okay what about Mary Sue?"

"What?! That's the LAST thing I want to be! Where did you get that idea?"

"I... don't know! Okay then how about..." Elaine remembered the glimpse of purple voodoo she saw coming off the girl during the high seas battle. "Violet?"

The voodoo girl blinked and considered for a moment. "I like it." She declared. "And it's conveniently nowhere near my real name!"

"Alright then, I have some things to take care of, you go get your things and wait by the ship until we're ready to set sail."

"Aye-aye, Captain!" Violet saluted, then chuckled a little at the use of the pirate lingo before walking off in the opposite direction.

Elaine glanced at her stride off and very abruptly stopped walking, just avoiding colliding with another woman as she was going under the Mêlée town clock.

"I'm so sorry!" Apologized the hazel-eyed curly red-haired woman before her. "I'm a little lost, I'm looking for the International House of Mojo?"

"Straight down that way." Elaine pointed a thumb over her shoulder. "Building on the left with the torches and the magic door. Can't miss it."

"Thanks." said the newcomer, and they both continued on their way.

Walk walk walk.

The image of Guybrush staring blankly was fresh in Elaine's mind as she strode through the forest and past the cliff.

Empty. The Guybrush she knew wasn't in there, he may as well have been a zombie. No, even a zombie would talk back, as she knew only all too well.

Elaine narrowed her eyes. LeChuck.

This was an all-new low for the rotting son of a bilge rat! Clearly the guy was stepping up his game – it was usually her getting kidnapped, and even then it was ALL of her, not just her spirit! Despite herself Elaine found herself tearing up angrily as she burst in through the front doors of the mansion.

"Darling!" Grandpa Marley greeted her as usual.

Horatio had changed considerably since he resumed his post as governor the year before. His beard and moustache still remained but now it was trimmed, well groomed, and didn't smell of unwashed hermit. He was also wearing pants, thankfully. He had long since discarded the clothes that had been his life on Monkey Island, and adopted the vestments he adorned before though, fairly, he had to get them altered to fit him now.

Horatio staggered back in surprise as Elaine threw her arms around him and buried her face into his shoulder.

"Elaine!" he exclaimed, alarmed when he heard her sniff. He put a hand on her head comfortingly. "What's wrong?" It had literally been decades since the old man had seen his little girl upset, and she was rarely ever upset, unless she was intentionally emotionally blackmailing him into giving her swordfighting lessons. But that was years ago.

Elaine composed herself and hastily wiped away the tears before stepping back, inwardly cursing herself for breaking so easily. She was never emotional like this, not even when she was being kidnapped. How did Guybrush succeed in bringing out this side of her when he wasn't even _present?_ Well that was a no-brainer. Crazy stupid love.

She turned away abruptly to collect the things she needed, all the while summarizing to her grandfather the events of the past half hour in as practical a voice as she could muster.

Horatio listened intently, brow furrowing and eyes widening as he got caught up to speed. He caught Elaine's hand as she walked by dragging a trunk across the foyer. Despite her admirable attempt to appear strong, the tinge of red in her eyes was a clear giveaway. He pulled her into a hug again, surprising her with how strongly he held her even after all these years.

"I'm sorry." He said sincerely. True, Guybrush was leagues away from the type of man he had wanted Elaine to marry (the guy was still as sharp as a soggy pancake), but Horatio had secretly come to admire the guy. He'd watched him find and escape Monkey Island against all odds on numerous occasions, something not many could do, all for his granddaughter.

Horatio had once thought that there wasn't a single person in the world that cared more for Elaine than he did, until he met Guybrush. Now, he would be hard pressed to find anyone that truly cared about his granddaughter more than Guybrush Threepwood.

"I'm coming with you." He stated.

Elaine pulled back, wiping her face again and shaking her head. "No, Grandpa. You have a job here."

"My first and foremost job is to make sure you're okay."

It earned a small smile from Elaine. She had been looking out for herself for years and single-handedly repelling LeChuck's advances long before Guybrush and the reappearance of her grandfather, but she had on occasion missed the man's over-protectiveness over the years.

"If something happens to both of us, that'll be the end of it." Elaine reasoned. "You'd be better off staying here and sending help if I don't come back. And besides, you're the governor, we can't have you gallivanting around the Caribbean with little to no prior notice – you have a duty to the people of the Tri-Island area."

Governor Marley made a face, knowing that what she said was true, before snatching the handle of the trunk and dragging it to the front door. "I'm still helping you get your stuff to the ship." He grumbled to Elaine's amusement. Cheered up only slightly, she grabbed some more things and joined him.

* * *

The last thing Elaine did after getting everything she needed (including the luggage strewn across the ground just outside the alley) was collect Guybrush from the International House o' Mojo. She guided her vacant husband to the ship and he followed unquestioningly. Elaine found herself gripping his hand harder than usual, as if hoping the very action would cause him to grip her tightly back, or at least elicit some kind of response from the placid man, but he did nothing other than occasionally mumble utter nonsense.

Up the gangplank and onto the deck. The crew was standing in a line, Grandpa Marley going over the list of crew members with Estevan.

"Looks like everything's in order." Horatio looked up when he noticed Elaine and Elaine could almost feel his heart sink at the sight of Guybrush. "Oh kiddo..." He breathed.

There was nothing but pity on his face as he came over and surveyed the slumping apathetic man from head to toe. Horatio gently took hold of Guybrush's hand, and was immediately perturbed by the lack of reaction from this action. He had become so accustomed to warding off all attempts by the silly pirate to hug him every time they met… this just felt wrong.

He shook his head and met eyes with his granddaughter, something unspoken passing between them, before he noticed Estevan behind him, waiting. "I'll take him to his quarters." Horatio said, leading Guybrush's body away to let the first mate talk to Elaine.

Elaine took a deep breath, recomposing herself. "Yes Estevan?"

"Captain, on such short notice I wasn't able to find as many willing crew members as you're used to but I think it should be enough."

"Thank you Estevan, this is more than I could've hoped for." Elaine glanced at the list and surveyed the line of crew members before her. She recognized a few familiar faces there – Mudbeard, Jim, Carlos, Mancomb, Silver, Angelica and there was Violet, but everyone else were new to her. She paused when she noticed another recently familiar face in the crowd.

"You." Elaine said, surprised, pointing out the curly red-haired woman she'd bumped into before, the one who was looking for the Voodoo Lady.

"Emilia." Estevan provided.

"Emilia, sorry." Elaine corrected herself. "Did you find-" she paused, not wanting to ask about the Voodoo Lady in front of the rest of the crew all of a sudden, "what you were looking for?" she finished.

"I was looking for a job, so yes I did." Emilia replied in an accent that was just as British as Elaine's, though not as posh. "And you won't regret making me your cook, Captain!" She continued with what distinctly felt like fake enthusiasm to Elaine.

Elaine raised an eyebrow. She went to the Voodoo Lady for employment advice? She shook off that niggling disbelief for the time being when her grandfather reappeared.

"Are you absolutely sure you don't need me to come with?" He asked, displeased at what he knew the answer would be.

"You've done enough, Grandpa." Elaine replied, walking him to the gangplank. "Thank you." She hugged him one last time and he put a hand on her cheek before saying:

"Not like I need to say it but kick his undead butt when you see him."

"You know I will." Elaine narrowed her eyes determinedly.

Horatio nodded, satisfied, and left the ship.

Elaine turned to Estevan. "Okay Estevan, let's get this show on the road."

"Get ready to set sail!" Her first mate called out. "Pull in the gangplank, let loose the ropes and unfurl those sails!"

The crew disbanded in mumbles and arrs as they went to their posts to attend their duties, all except Violet who wasn't entirely sure what to do.

"Not you." Elaine caught her attention and led her away. "You have to show me where we're going, we need a heading."

They entered the captain's quarters where Horatio had managed to sit Guybrush on the bed for the time being. They glanced at him before they made their way to the map on the table.

"Okay," Elaine started, "where are we going?"

Violet studied the map for a moment before pointing. "Right there."

Elaine blinked. The well-known patch of uncharted waters that all pirates knew well to avoid due to the unexplained disappearances. Violet was pointing right at its centre.

"That's the Belaydat Triangle." Elaine said bluntly.

"That's where we need to go." Violet confirmed. "There's a reason the Sea Witch Doctor knows so much more than all the rest – he lives there."

Elaine frowned, and brought out her compass again, placing it on the map. It was still pointing in that general direction.

"Mrs Threepwood, if they really are heading towards the islands on the other side of the triangle, they'll most likely go around it to avoid the dangers there, we'll be able to catch up to them if we cut through the triangle."

"Not unless we're cut through first." Elaine pointed out. "What's in there?"

"Nothing I haven't handled before." Violet admitted truthfully. "Look, if it were up to me we wouldn't be going anywhere _near_ the place but my mother seems to think-"

"Right, right." Elaine rubbed her temples and sighed. "Okay, can you please tell Estevan that we have our heading? And ask him about your duties, he'll tell you everything you need to know."

Violet nodded and left, leaving Elaine essentially alone, not counting the essential zombie in the room.

Elaine sat down heavily next to Guybrush's still sitting body, and whipped out a handkerchief to wipe the drool dribbling down his chin. She then reached out and automatically fixed his hair, tucking it behind his ear as she so often tended to do to his dismay. She put a finger under his chin and turned his head towards her so she could look straight into his half-closed eyes. The emptiness in them was nothing short of despairing. Elaine threw her hands around him.

"Teeeeeveeeee..."

She closed her eyes and hugged him tighter. "I'm coming, Guybrush."

* * *

**I added the reference to Morgan last minute lol :P As usual, reviews are appreciated.**


	7. Battle with the Beast (pt 1)

**Sorry for the wait! Moved house and just got the WiFi today :P Really big chapter this time! Not beta-d so please excuse any mistakes!**_  
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_"Relax, Mister Threepwood, I know why you're here... I've been wanting to meet you ever since I heard your fascinating name..."_

_"Tell me, Guybrush, why do you want to be a pirate? You don't look like one, your face is too... sweet."_

_"I'm coming, Guybrush."_

Guybrush came to slowly. The first thing he felt, if it could be considered a feeling at all, was numbness. He felt as though he'd been asleep for a long time, and even as he all too slowly regained consciousness the fact that he couldn't feel his limbs, or any part of his body for that matter started to get to him.

After all Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate, had gotten into his fair share of mighty pirate fights and by now was used to the feeling of being knocked out - he'd come to expect the throbbing headache that accompanied waking up after such a knocking-out. So why was this time so different? He couldn't feel anything at all. He couldn't even blink – it was as if everything that had been dark just moments before just started fading into light, without him needing to open his eyes. Where were his eyes anyways? Why was he feeling so... detached?

Blue light. Soft.

Guybrush looked around. The light was everywhere, all around him. He looked down. Was he dreaming? Where was his body? All he could see, or rather sense, was this eerie blue light. Actually it felt like it was a part of him.

Alright, let's calm down for a minute and think. What was the last thing he remembered before he woke up?

They were sailing back to Mêlée when they got engaged in a rousing piratey sea battle... Voodoo Lady, good. Elaine, good. Largo, bad.

Largo.

Now he remembered! ...but he still didn't understand. What the heck did that warped midget hit him with?

"Um Mister Largo, sir?"

Guybrush stopped thinking and listened to the voices just beyond all this blue.

"Whaddya want Bob?"

"I was just wondering... Wouldn't it have been better to save Mister Threepwood's spirit for last? After getting the rest of the ingredients, like Captain LeChuck ordered?"

Guybrush would never have noticed how the lantern his spirit was in suddenly pulsed with blue light from the shock of hearing these words.

"Are you questioning my authority, Bob?" said Largo threateningly.

"Oh, no sir!" The skeleton yammered quickly, "It's just that Captain LeChuck seemed to think that leaving Mister Threepwood for last would've been the best way to make sure his wife didn't have time to interfere with the ritual..."

Largo scoffed. "The _captain_," he said distastefully, "also said he'd keelhaul us in a river of lava if we didn't get the ingredients quick enough. We wouldda had ta backtrack and spend double the time to get everything if we did it his way. Besides," Largo's footsteps sounded closer, as did his voice. "I had a score to settle with Threepnerd."

Guybrush felt the container he was in suddenly move as Largo knocked the lantern mischievously, causing it to rock from wherever it was apparently hanging from. "How's the view in there, Driftwood?"

_Pretty good since I can't see you or your unmentionables! _Guybrush tried to retort, though all that did was make the strange lantern glow a bit brighter from the outside.

Guybrush couldn't see Largo smile smugly at getting a reaction from the soul-trapping item, and heard the imp's footsteps start to recede as Largo said, "And don't worry about the wife, Bob, that harpy will never stop us before Peepwood's body dies on her."

The soul-trapping lantern suddenly dimmed as Guybrush deflated at these words, and then the footsteps faded into silence, and Guybrush knew he was alone.

* * *

"Haaaaaackeeeeey saaaaaack..."

"Um, Captain, your husband is..."

Elaine grabbed hold of Guybrush's body before it could tumble down the stairs to the hold. Despite her efforts to keep him in one place he somehow managed to get out every time, even when she locked the doors. Sighing, she led him back inside and, after a brief mental debate, tied him to the chair. Elaine cringed at the sight and then forced herself to shake it off, leaving her quarters and closing the door behind her. The sooner they got his spirit back the better.

She checked her compass. They were well in the waters of the Belaydat Triangle now and true to the voodoo priestess-in-training's words, it seemed her pursuees had changed course some time ago, the needle pointing somewhere to the left of her instead of directly ahead of her.

The journey into the Triangle had been smooth and uneventful, the weather was the epitome of perfection with both the water currents flowing and the wind blowing in their favour. The sun sparkled in the reflection of the endless waters as it descended closer to the horizon through a clear sky, the promise of a beautiful night in its wake.

It unsettled Elaine to no end.

Elaine was no pessimist by any means, but here they were in well-marked danger areas of the map and nothing had happened. She should be counting her blessings she knew, but she was a realist, it felt an awful lot like the calm before the storm. No one other than Estevan and her and the Voodoo Girl knew of their exact whereabouts. Elaine intended it as such, knowing how quickly the seeds of fear can escalate into the threat of a mutiny when given the chance.

She spotted Violet and made her way over to her. The Voodoo Lady's daughter was busy polishing the handrail of the ship, one cloth in her hands rubbing at the thing whilst another two cloths further up the rail mimicked the action like magical puppets.

All things considered Elaine ended up with a highly abled crew. It turned out Violet made a fair cabin girl and caught on quick. Elaine suspected the girl enjoyed the challenge of learning something new if only to practice applying voodoo to it. The new cook, Emilia, turned out to be excellent at her job too, the meals provided over the last couple of days causing Elaine to bury her initial suspicions of the woman almost completely.

"Hey Mrs Threepwood." Violet greeted, not pausing from her polishing.

"Good evening." Elaine answered back, leaning against a part of the rail. "Nice job you're doing there." She commented, a little distractedly.

"Thanks." Finished, Violet got up and wiped her forehead, the other two cloths flew back to her open hand and she tossed them into the bucket on deck. She raised an eyebrow at her hand glowing purple before she shook the colour off it nonchalantly. It was well known in the voodoo community that there was something about the Triangle that either amplified voodoo powers or made it go on the fritz. "Doesn't look like you think it's a good evening." Violet noted when she properly saw Elaine's face.

Elaine frowned. "How much longer would you say it would take until we reach our destination?"

Violet looked out at the sun over the horizon and pondered. "Not too long." she said fairly, "Probably under a day if all goes well. That's judging by how long we've been here, I'd be surer if I knew where we were exactly on the map."

The ship rocked slightly to the side as it grazed against something against its hull. _Probably a whale_, Elaine thought as she idly glanced at the sea below before stepping back from the handrail.

"Well let's take a look at the map again then," Elaine decided, intending to have her guide follow her to her quarters where the map was.

The ship rocked again, harder this time, causing Elaine and some of the crew to reflexively grab onto whatever was in reach for balance.

"What's causing that?" Elaine wondered aloud. "Did we hit a reef, Estevan?"

The man in question was in the crow's nest as usual, but his wide eyes were staring in abject terror at the waters below them.

"It's not a reef." said Violet, as she realised exactly where they were, "it's a-"

"LEVIATHAN!" Estevan practically screamed as something massive, scaly and dripping ascended out of the water with all the grace of a sea snake, blocking out the sun and plunging the ship into shadow.

Elaine had never seen the face of a dragon before but she guessed if she ever did, it wouldn't be too far off from the face of the creature towering above her. Massive well-weathered greyish green leathery fins spanned out from the mandible of the thing, giant slits of gills layering its way some ways behind that into its serpentine neck. Four pitch black eyes (two big ones behind two smaller ones) stared cruelly at the multitudes of crewmen panicking on their tiny ship. And of course the teeth. It bared a mouth full of fangs at them all, each canine twice as big and three times as thick as Elaine herself. A massive shrimp-like tail came out of the water and crashed down on deck, splitting masts and splintering deck wood as it did, and curled snugly around the hull of the ship, causing the whole ship to tilt upwards and sink slightly from the weight.

They were trapped in the clutches of the leviathan.

The beast rose up to its full height, baring its horrific teeth once more, preparing to strike, when Violet ran out in front of it, two fingers in her mouth to help her whistle shrilly while the other arm waved around wildly to get its attention.

Everyone held their breath and the leviathan paused as the voodoo priestess-in-training stopped a relatively safe distance from the creature and cocked her head at it, slightly confused. "You're not Tony…" she thought out loud.

The sound that emitted from the mouth of the beast sounded like a mix between a hiss, a whale's song, and the roar of a giant robot monkey, and it shook the entire ship from stem to stern.

Violet raised her hands in defence. "Whoa whoa, chill!" And then was acutely aware of everyone watching her. "Uh…" She fell back into what she was taught to do in situations like these and began to make clicking and squeaking noises that markedly resembled that of a dolphin. '_Guardian, halt! We mean no harm, we seek the wisdom of the Sea Voodoo Priest.'_

The leviathan roared. '_Show me your pass.'_

Violet frowned, and replied in a short squeak and click as if in question. '_Pass?'_

The creature roared again in answer '_If you want to see the Sea Voodoo Priest you must present a pass, then I'll let you proceed without any trouble.'_

This time Violet looked annoyed. She protested something again in that dolphin speech. '_Says who? I've never needed to show a pass before!'_ The crew, clueless to what was being discussed in this fishy language did nothing but watch as the beast growled something in answer to the girl.

"Teeeee veeeeeeee..." Despite the giant scaly tail and ship debris littering the deck, Guybrush's shell of a body somehow managed to wander out of his quarters into this strange scene.

The Voodoo Girl gently caught him by the arm, gestured to him, and said something back to the beast, '_See? No soul! This is why we need his help – it's an emergency! I didn't know about the pass, can't you let us through just this once?'_ The beast replied with a short hissing whale of a sound. '_No pass, no passage.'_

A pause as she considered, hesitating about what she was about to say next._ 'Buddy, you could very well lose your job if he finds out about this. I don't think you realise who you're dealing with.'_

The leviathan growled in question, somewhat arrogantly.

Another pause as she looked around uncomfortably. She sighed and caved, squeaking and clicking something to the gargantuan creature. The beast listened, paused long enough to be insulting, then reacted by throwing its head back and opening its mouth wide as short bursts of rumbling roars were emitted. It sounded like something akin to laughter.

She slapped her face in frustration, let go of Guybrush's body, which seemed content to stand there for the moment, and said something back yet again. Then she slowly held her palm out, which started to glow with a purple aura.

All signs of amusement gone in a flash from the beast, it raised its tail again. Reacting automatically, Violet shoved Guybrush out of the way and threw her arms up in a sweeping motion. _"Otegopro-osnay!"_ In the split second it took for Guybrush to hit the deck and a purple haze of a shield to materialize in front of her, a tail ten times thicker than the mast came flying at her, shattering the shield instantly like glass and going through it as if it never existed. The hard-shelled thing hit her hard and she went flying into the wall of the cabin. The 'thunk' sound that her head made when it came in contact with the wood made everyone in earshot cringe, and she slumped to the deck unmoving.

Terror promptly followed.

That one act was enough to send the entire crew from silent anticipation into a panicked frenzy of chaos – pirates yelling and screaming (some girlishly at that) as the beast rose up again, scoping out another target. Some jumped into the sea unthinkingly, others ran below deck.

Elaine seemed to be the only one attempting to think rationally. She pulled Guybrush off the floor as she started barking out orders. "Stand your ground! Anyone who's below deck, load the cannons! Two people to a cannon! Everyone else back on deck! Harpoons, swords and guns at the ready! And stay clear of that tail! Aim fo-"

"Cap'n! Look out!" She heard Mudbeard yell.

Elaine spun around and managed to get out a gasp before she dove (with Guybrush in tow) to the side just as a gnashing mouth came chomping down on the area she was standing moments ago. Elaine followed up instantly by pulling out her sword and bringing it down hard on the upper lip of the giant sea snake.

She may as well have hit a rock.

With a clang the sword simply bounced off the leviathan's skin, not even leaving a dent, and jarring Elaine's arm. She tried to hit it one more time out of good measure before scampering out of the way with Guybrush as the massive thing raised its head off the deck to look at her somewhat smugly.

Around her, the few pirates that were brave enough to come near any part of the leviathan were trying and failing to leave a mark on the seemingly indestructible creature. Estevan shot his gun from the crow's nest repeatedly, not missing a single shot but every shot simply bouncing off those rock-hard scales.

The leviathan rose up to its full height and regarded the Threepwoods maliciously, looking ready to strike again. Elaine was fully capable of single-handedly avoiding anything this thing threw at her, she knew, but her options were limited with Guybrush by her side – there was no way his body could wander out of this situation. She simply refused to leave his side, so she gripped him tighter as they shuffled back more.

"Fire the cannons!" Elaine shouted.

BOOM!

The leviathan roared in irritation and loosened its grip on the ship just slightly as cannonballs were shot out of the side of the ship to graze that leathery scaly skin but it still didn't let go of the ship. Instead, the creature raised its tail up high and whipped it towards them in an arc. Elaine's eyes widened and in a split second, she calculated the exact spot that the tail wouldn't reach, and hit the deck, pulling Guybrush down with her and covering his head protectively. Wet leathery skin grazed over the backs of their heads but other than that, they managed to avoid being crushed by something that must've weighed more than ten elephants stacked together.

Elaine heard a crash as she realised the rear mast was demolished by the tail whip and glanced in time to see it crashing into the sea, pulling a few pirates into the sea with it.

With a feral growl, the creature reinforced its grip on the Rabid Monkey, adding another coil of body around the little ship and causing it to sink a little more, before focussing on the captain again.

It pounced again. Elaine, who was trying to keep her balance on the bobbing ship, was caught off guard this time. She hastily pushed Guybrush away and dove to the side herself again, this time a little clumsily.

They were not as lucky this time.

"NOOO!" Elaine's heart literally stopped as her view of Guybrush disappeared under the mass of scaly leviathan mouth… then her heart started beating again as the beast rose its gigantic head slowly to reveal Guybrush unharmed… and levitating.

The creature had his coat caught in its teeth and was now lifting Guybrush off the deck with a growl. Elaine scrambled up to her feet, sheathed her sword and lunged at Guybrush, catching his feet and pulling him down. Her weight was no comparison to that of the monster's however, and she was lifted with him, at an alarming rate too. The leviathan was going to throw them into the air before swallowing them both whole, she realised.

"Not on my watch!"

Elaine started to climb her way up Guybrush, a feat considering the smelly leviathan drool now covering both their bodies impeding the attempt, and the wind rushing into her face and past her ears as she was lifted even higher.

She was nowhere near making it on time.

With a yelp, the Threepwoods were suddenly tossed high into the air. Elaine's stomach tickling and then lurching as she reached the apex of the throw and was about to fall again. In the momentum of the throw she lost her grip on Guybrush and in the split second it took for her to see him again, she was terrified by the sight below her. It was bad enough knowing you were so high above a ship with nothing soft to break your fall. It was worse to see that there was actually something to break your fall, but that something was the open waiting mouth of a fifty-foot beast.

And it was getting closer.

They were falling.

Elaine didn't have any control over her spinning through the air but she wasn't going to go down without a fight. She unsheathed her sword and once that mouth was in view again, she hurled it at the thing with all her might.

It struck true, sticking itself right in the middle of the massive tongue and the beast roared, moving its head out of the way and shaking it this way and that as it tried to get it unstuck.

Elaine flailed as she fell past the leviathan's head, trying in vain to reach for either Guybrush below her, or for anything to break the fall in as painless way as possible. As luck would have it, another mast fell just then due to the beast's thrashing and Elaine found herself and Guybrush landing on the attached sail and sliding down it to the safety of the deck.

Except it wasn't safe at all.

Elaine got up, rubbing her shoulder that was sore from hitting the deck, and was immediately at Guybrush's side, giving him a once over to make sure he wasn't badly hurt.

"Teeeee veeeeee."

He was fine.

She got him to his feet and searched for a way to get the both of them out of this mess. They had landed between two of the coils of the leviathan. That scaly body was far too slippery to try and climb over and there was no gap below to climb under. The two coils met at one side of the ship, blocking that way, but the other side was open to the sea.

_Looks like there's no other way then._

She began to make her way over there with Guybrush's body, only to falter and scurry back as the beast's head was suddenly in front of her. And boy did it look mad. Four soulless eyes glared at her venomously before it spat out her sword at her feet. Elaine automatically picked it up and pointed it at the thing in defiance. She'd be a fool to deny that she was scared. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears, and she couldn't do much to stem the shaking of her sword. All she could do was cautiously take another step back, keeping Guybrush behind her protectively.

The leviathan roared at her suddenly, the force of its breath and that fishy halitosis knocking them both back onto their backsides, and it rose up again, preparing to attack.

They were trapped.

Despite herself Elaine found herself screaming, screwing her eyes shut and hugging Guybrush's body tightly, fully expecting this to be the end as the leviathan lunged at them in slow motion. She heard the roar, but never felt the blow as the roar was abruptly cut off by an odd crackling sound.

Elaine dared a peek and found herself staring bewildered at the bluish sphere of a magic shield that had materialised out of nowhere, encompassing her and Guybrush both. Beyond the bluish haze, the leviathan high above her was shaking its gargantuan head, still reeling from the impact.

She glanced around, nonplussed at the source of the voodoo. The coils shifted and she could see Violet still out cold some distance away. Elaine looked at Guybrush incredulously. His eyes were still half-lidded and blank but now they were glowing an unearthly blue along with his limp hands. It was just for a moment though as they faded back to their usual emotionless selves, the shield fading along with it.

"Haaaackey saaaaack…" Guybrush droned, as if nothing had happened.

"What on earth?" She didn't even have time to decrypt what had just happened as a couple of her original crew members caught her attention. Angelica and Silver swung from a mast with a battle cry and launched themselves onto the tail, swords drawn and guns blazing. Unfortunately, the creature had regained its wits by that time and simply swatted away the pirates as if they were flies, making Elaine grimace and adding two more to the numbers in the water.

It was what happened next that changed the entire game plan. For as the beast returned its tail to its snug position around the ship, it knocked over a brazier of hot coals that had been miraculously still standing till now. The leviathan visibly flinched from the contact, letting out a growl of discomfort.

Of course.

"New plan!" Elaine bellowed as she stood once again, pulling her husband to his feet. "Everyone get some fire! Lanterns, torches, whatever you can find! Dip your swords and harpoons into oil if you have to but get it burning!" She ducked quickly through the new gap under the coil of body, pulling Guybrush through with her, to reach the rest of the deck.

"Aye cap'n!"

Another growl and the leviathan swept its huge tail across the deck again, fully this time. Attempts at defence by swords or guns didn't seem to even phase the thing as it swept pirates off the deck like dust off a carpet. Elaine hit the deck with Guybrush another time and avoided a crushing defeat yet again. A mizzen mast gave away and came crashing down into the sea, sails and all, Estevan caught with it when the boom unexpectedly swept him off as he was climbing down from the crow's nest.

Elaine was on her feet again, sword in hand, and she picked up a lantern hanging off one of the few remaining masts with her sword, smashing it against the wood. Lantern oil dripped down the full length of the blade before she tossed the lantern aside.

She let go of Guybrush briefly to reach for the pistol at her side, tampering with it momentarily so that she could get the flame without shooting a bullet. She carefully brought the flame up to the sword and it burst into flames. The burning sword was actually quite spectacular and Elaine held it carefully so it wouldn't drip flames on her.

All around her she could see the remaining pirates on deck doing similar things, setting different things alight and preparing to use them as weapons. Elaine put the pistol back and held onto Guybrush again, raising the sword to the leviathan's face as if in challenge.

It bared its teeth at her and hissed, sending chills down her spine, though she didn't show it. Instead, she aimed the flaming sword at the part of the leviathan closest to her, and struck.

The roar was different this time, one of annoyance and pain, and it continued as she and the others stabbed and poked at the scaly skin using burning swords, harpoons, torches, and even parts of the sails; all leaving scorch marks and causing the beast to try and flinch away from the unrelenting flames.

Lunge, riposte, lunge again. She kept a relatively safe distance in case the leviathan decided to try and crush her with its tail again but it tried to do nothing of the sort. She continued to poke at the thing long after the flames died down, the blade still hot enough from the contact to leave burn marks on that greenish murky skin. Every attack caused the beast to loosen its hold on the ship bit by bit.

"Fire the cannons again!"

BOOM!

That was the final straw.

With a roar of displeasure the leviathan finally released its hold on the ship, body and tail sliding off it and into the water. The Rabid Monkey suddenly rocked and bobbed as it straightened, finally free of the beast's mighty hold. The leviathan let out one angry ear-splitting roar and then disappeared, its entire serpentine body dipping into the darkened sea below.

Elaine and everyone else stopped. Everything was finally quiet but no one was celebrating. Elaine's grip on her sword never loosened as she waited for something, anything to happen, her breathing quickening with each passing tantalizing second, eyes darting this way and that and ears alert to the slightest clue to the whereabouts of the beast.

The ship finally stopped bobbing and everything was silent. Shadows elongated as the sun continued to dip into the ocean far away. Elaine could hear the indistinct murmurs of her crew wondering if it was over. She was vaguely aware of some of the crew members climbing their way back on board. She gripped her sword and her husband harder.

Then suddenly, with a crash, something huge came splashing out of the water at the side of the ship. In a cacophony of noise the beast jumped in an arc over the ship pulling the ship with it as it travelled so that slowly and surely, the ship rocked too far to the side, converting the deck into a slide and sending more pirates swimming. Barrels and boxes and loose cannons went overboard, Violet slipped unconscious and unawares into the ocean herself.

Elaine acted quickly, sheathing her sword and sprinting up the deck to hold on to the railing with all her might, one hand on the railing highest from the water surface, the other on her increasingly heavy husband, her white knuckles a testament to how hard she was clutching him. A crew member next to her lost his hold when the slide transformed into a vertical wall, and he hit the broken mast on his way down, pinwheeling into the ocean.

The Rabid Monkey stayed liked that for a few moments, suspended on its side, almost comically, with an enormous scaly body hanging over it like some kind of giant scaly, finned gift-wrapping bow. And then with a final groan and a creak, the ship capsized.

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**Remember how I said I saw a few similarities between my idea for a sequel and Tales? The leviathan was one of them :) I pictured it differently obviously lol :P**

**Leave a review please!**


	8. Battle with the Beast (pt 2)

**Boom! I actually had a lot of fun writing the battle at the time lol :P Did I mention I managed to pass that traumatic exam? :D**

**Many thanks again to my beta, nothing gets past her! Read on!**

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Elaine and Guybrush finally plunged into the sea, the momentum of the ship pulling them down with it. Splintered under-boards caught at an arm and scratched it badly before sending Elaine spiralling deeper still into the waters and for one horrifying moment, she lost her grip on Guybrush.

In a flurry of panicked bubbles she groped at nothing before correcting herself and diving deeper into the darkened sea, essentially crashing into Guybrush before grabbing onto the familiar material of his coat and hauling it back to the surface.

It wasn't until after she got a firm hold of her husband that she finally let it sink in how freezing it was. It was incredible how cold the sea was even in the hottest days in the Caribbean, especially after sundown. Normally on an evening such as this, a cold splash would be a nice reprieve from the heat but the case being what it was, it acted more like a shock to the system.

So it wasn't really much of a surprise to Elaine, when she came up to the surface gasping for breath, that she found herself joined by a spluttering and severely confused Violet a moment later.

"Wha? What's going on?" Violet slurred, before gawking at the sight of the underbelly of the Rabid Monkey before her, gigantic sail-like fins attached to the scaly elongated body slung over it, the leviathan's head and tail below the surface for the time being. And the beast wasn't done yet.

"Te-e-e-e-v-e-e-e-e-e-e..." Guybrush gurgled.

Elaine shifted to keep his head above the water and watched, aghast, as the ship began to roll again, its slimy barnacled underbelly re-submerging into the sea slowly with the movement of the attached leviathan.

"Huh?" Violet squinted, bemused, into the ocean as she began inexplicably gliding towards the ship. "Uh o-whoa!" she was abruptly dragged underwater again, towards the direction of the rolling monster of a ship.

"Hey!" Elaine exclaimed, though she didn't have time to react.

"Arrr! The mast!" She heard Mancomb's voice shout from the other side of the boat. "Swim away if ye know what's good for ya!"

The main mast was about to emerge out from the opposite side, and Elaine realised with a shock that she had drifted with the motion of the ocean and was now was far too close to the hull of the ship above her that was threatening to crush her, or at least send her on another spiralling adventure under the sea. Folding her knees in somewhat she planted her feet as best she could on the moving slippery under-surface of her ship and pushed off awkwardly, kicking hard and saving herself and Guybrush just before the hull came crashing down into the ocean and the mast came crashing out the other side, pulling yelling and uncomfortable crew members out of the sea with it.

With another groan the ship began to right itself, water spilling off the deck, the contents of the hull sloshing with every movement of the jostled ship. Sailors caught onto the mast, purposefully or otherwise, slipped off and crashed onto the deck like the catch of the day, some only to slide back into the sea again. As the main mast raised higher into the reddened sky, Violet came out of the water with it, her foot caught in a rope meant to keep the sails down. She coughed and spluttered as she dangled there upside-down, clearly uncomfortable with her position until she managed to spell her foot out of the knots of the rope, and crashed painfully onto the deck with a scream, joining the few sailors already there.

The leviathan smugly raised its gargantuan head at the front of the ship again, its tail slung over the middle of the ship.

Back to square one.

Only worse.

_"Infigmay." _Violet clutched at her exquisitely tender shoulder, biting her lip hard and hand glowing purple as she voodoo-ed the dislocated joint back in place with a yelp. It made her see stars, and she collapsed back onto the wall behind her, exhausted and hurting.

The magic act brought the attention of the leviathan back on her again and it narrowed its horrific eyes at her, baring its fangs and preparing to strike. Seeing this, Violet flinched, fearfully closing her eyes and throwing up her arms in defence while she quickly clicked and squeaked something in that fish language again. The beast hesitated as it considered what she said, and it was in that moment of hesitation that something quite unexpected happened.

"ENOUGH!" Emilia, bedraggled, staggered out of the kitchen just then, apparently having survived being on board a somersaulting ship, and looking nothing less than livid. Strangely, her pupil-less eyes were glowing a somewhat familiarly unearthly green, as did her hands when she raised them to the side above her shoulders with an "AAARR!" Elaine watched in awe as cannonballs levitated out of the water beside her and from below deck into the outside air, all glowing with that same green aura, and the leviathan bristled its scales at this, hissing threateningly at the twenty odd cannonballs floating in position around it. Emilia flexed her fingers ever so slightly, preparing to command the cannons to blow the overgrown sea worm to kingdom come.

"No..." Violet croaked, weakly raising a hand to the cook. "You mustn't kill the guardian..."

Emilia turned her head at this ever so slightly, eyes still furious and green, then after a moment's pause she dropped her left hand and arced her right hand to the front. Almost all the cannonballs seemed to suddenly remember gravity and dropped like lead onto decks or into the ocean. The three that didn't followed the motion of Emilia's hand, curving into a vicious arc and like a train, sequentially hit the leviathan hard in the side of its face.

They hit the thing with such force that the beast's head snapped to the side. If it didn't have such soulless black eyes Elaine was sure she'd see its pupils comically going around in the whites of its eyes as it swayed in place. Instead though, the thing toppled backwards into the sea with a groan like an enormous tree trunk, creating waves with the resultant splash and pushing pirates a little further away from the impact. Its tail slipped off the ship with finality as it joined the rest of the body sinking into the dark depths of its lair.

The leviathan was finally defeated.

* * *

By the time everyone overboard climbed back on board and salvage what they could from the waters, Emilia had disappeared into the confines of her kitchen, night had very well set in and the lanterns and torches that hadn't been lost were lit once more.

Elaine, now thankfully wearing a dry set of clothes, made sure everything was in order above deck before making to go below deck.

"Captain…"

She turned at the interruption. "Cabin girl?" She greeted back. Elaine never saw the voodoo girl wearing anything different, even now. She couldn't tell if she was wearing an identical set of fresh clothes or had simply voodoo-dried the ones she was wearing.

Violet hesitated, not really wanting to make eye contact. "I'm sorry." She said sincerely.

"What for?"

She rubbed her arm a little sheepishly and sighed.

"I only had one job to do, to get you to the Sea Witch Doctor safely... and I couldn't even do that right." She said a little despairingly.

Elaine raised an eyebrow at this. It had been quite an unexpected ordeal, true, and a tiring one at that. But she recalled the Voodoo Lady's daughter's initial reluctance to take them through the Triangle in the first place.

"Ah yes, however can I forgive you for being knocked unconscious for the majority of the fight?" She said sarcastically, and somewhat amused, earning a small smile from the other woman. "I suppose I'll be having a talk with your mother later though." She said fairly.

Violet shook her head. "Tempting, but the leviathans are a magical breed that are naturally exempt from appearing in any visions so there was really no way she could've predicted that Carl would be such a problem."

"Carl?" Elaine asked.

"The leviathan." Violet explained. "No idea he'd be so aggressive either, yeesh!"

"...His name is Carl?" Elaine repeated.

"Actually it's Carlicterisinistraticus or something but that's a little harder to remember."

True that. "Carl it is then." Elaine agreed.

"Haaackey saack?"

Guybrush in his own fresh clothes and mostly dry hair shuffled past them, apparently to wander off the plank, which was ironically undamaged by the great Carl's antics. Elaine caught him by the arm and redirected him away from open water.

"Can you take him to his quarters for me please, and make sure he stays there?" Elaine requested. She wasn't sure how Guybrush's body kept finding ways to get out of the measures she took to keep him in one place, especially with no one being at the proverbial home at the moment. She wondered if that told her anything about her husband's ability to get out of almost any situation, as clueless as he may seem. Or perhaps it had something to do with that voodoo anomaly he pulled off not one hour ago? She'd ask the voodoo priestess-in-training about that later but for now, "I have some captaining to do."

"Okay." Violet guided the hapless husband away.

Elaine immediately made her way below deck, directly to the kitchen. She was greeted by the smell of something tangy and spicy and all-in-all delicious-smelling. Emilia's back was turned to her as she practically danced between the various pots and pans on the stoves, adding a pinch of this and a dash of that with natural flair as she cooked, oblivious to the world beyond her cooking station.

So she nearly jumped out of her skin when Elaine cleared her throat.

"Captain!" Emilia exclaimed, hazel eyes wide as she clutched at her chest. "You really shouldn't sneak up on people like that!"

Elaine raised an eyebrow, disregarding the comment. "It appears you have some explaining to do." she said expectantly.

The cook's wide eyes went back to normal. "What, this? It's dinner. I'm going for something spicy today but don't worry, I made plenty of coleslaw for anyone who can't handle the heat!" She winked.

"That's not what I was referring to. When I hired you I was under the impression I was hiring a cook." Elaine said suspiciously.

"I _am _a cook!" Emilia said defensively, blowing a stray reddish chestnut curl out of her face. "And I like to think I'm a bloody good one too!"

"So that little voodoo display up there was...?"

"A hobby." Emilia finished shortly. "My parents wanted me to be a voodoo doctor and I had a knack for it but I also loved cooking, so I double-majored in college. I still practice voodoo every now and then but it's mostly just a hobby."

Elaine would've believed the cook if it weren't for that strangely set expression. She was clearly hiding something.

"And yet you neglected to mention it when you so eagerly offered to join my crew."

Emilia shrugged. "It's just a hobby. Would _you _include stamp-collecting in your résumé if you were inquiring for a job?"

Elaine sighed. She wasn't getting anywhere. And Emilia clearly was not going to reveal any more on the matter. "Any other talents I should be aware of?" Elaine asked after a moment's pause.

Emilia thought for a moment. "Um... well I'm pretty good at playing an organ and I can stand on the very tip of my toes for about ten seconds... but that's about it."

"Right, right." Elaine turned and rolled her eyes when they were out of sight. "Well next time a warning would be practical." she paused. "But thank you." she was referring to the cook's part in getting them past the leviathan, and she knew Emilia knew it.

"No problem, Captain!" Emilia casually saluted Elaine as she disappeared up the steps. "Dinner still has some ways to go but you'll know when it's ready!" she called after her.

Once the captain had truly gone, Emilia turned around and leaned with her hands against the counter top, all signs of amusement gone in an instant as she narrowed her eyes at the simmering food in the pot, not really looking at it.

After a moment her hands glowed green with that same voodoo aura and she looked at it idly. The light of the aura made her flesh appear green and Emilia scowled at it, making the green brighten temporarily before shaking her hands and rubbing her temples, the glow disappearing altogether.

"Control. Control." she muttered. It was the effects of the Triangle, she knew. And the fact that she was really peeved at the time had made it worse. She just had to exercise more control over it until this was all over. She was too close to the answers now to mess this up… Emilia turned back to her cooking as if nothing had happened.

* * *

Dinner served and duties done for the day, the cook leaned over the handrail of the ship, in a short-lived attempt to enjoy the fresh air of the Caribbean night.

"That was sensational!"

Emilia jumped at the sudden appearance of the cabin girl and inwardly groaned. This was the exact reason she tried so hard not to use her powers – she could do without all the unwanted attention. A single momentary lapse in control and now the whole damned ship was on to her.

"Thanks, but I really don't want to talk about what happened back there." She said firmly.

"I was talking about dinner! Girl you can really cook!"

"…Oh."

"Although…" Violet's cheerful tone diminished. "It was also an impressive feat you pulled off back there."

Emilia narrowed her eyes and fixed them on the horizon. "So?"

"So where did you learn voodoo from again?"

"Nowhere near the Tri-Island area." Emilia snapped. "Anything else?"

"Yeah…" Violet hesitated. "I've never seen dark magic before but attitude aside, you don't strike me as someone that should be playing around with it." Violet said carefully.

"I don't have a choice." Emilia turned to leave but the cabin girl caught her arm.

"I used to have control issues too… I can help you."

Emilia tugged her arm away and stormed off without looking at her. "No one can help me."

The voodoo girl watched her with a raised eyebrow as she walked away, not seeing the dark expression on the receding woman's face, nor noticing Elaine regarding them suspiciously from the upper deck.

* * *

**Yeah I have another one, sorry about that :P**


	9. The Sea Witch Doctor

**Did I mention how much I love my beta? ^_^**

* * *

It was early the next morning when they arrived at the workplace of the Sea Witch Doctor. Or so Elaine was told.

"Are you quite sure this is the place?" Elaine asked. She had expected an island, or an atoll, or even an uninteresting rock. She could see nothing but sea as far as her eyes could see.

Violet nodded, squinting to see into the distance herself. "This is it, Mrs Threepwood. Weigh anchor here and then we'll need to take one of those boats out." She turned to her captain. "It's essential that only you and I go, and the others can never know what we saw when we come back." She said seriously. "I can't stress enough the importance of this – the Sea Witch Doctor is a very private character, so... can I trust you with this?"

Elaine nodded, feeling put off by all the secrecy. "Of course."

A few minutes later, the longboat containing the captain and the cabin girl was lowered into the ocean. Violet rowed a few strokes, concentrating on rowing in the right direction, before resorting to letting magic do the rest once they were out of the shadow of the Rabid Monkey.

The boat sailed smoothly into open sea. Elaine watched as slowly but surely, her battle-scarred ship grew smaller with distance. They had managed to get here with the main mast still intact but it would be slow going if the other masts weren't repaired soon. It made Elaine frown.

It was quite sunny despite it being early in the morning. Elaine shaded her eyes with her hands as she tried to make out where exactly they were headed, but she could only just make out the fins of a group of sharks in the not-too-far distance, idly gliding through the water.

The sharks grew closer as the boat glided in that general direction. Elaine mentally prepared herself for some island or voodoo shack to magically reveal itself before her as she sailed through an invisible force field or something, but nothing of the sort happened. Instead, the boat slowed to a stop right in the middle of the shark-infested waters.

Violet planted her hands on the side of the boat, leaning over to get a better look into the waters. She leaned her face closer to the surface, not noticing one of the sharks swimming ever closer.

Alarmed, Elaine pulled back the voodoo priestess-in-training before the former could be a witness to a shark attack. "Are you _mad?!_"

Violet, temporarily shocked at being so suddenly jerked back, held a hand to her chest. "Don't ever do that again!" she gasped, "It's okay, really! Look."

Before Elaine could stop her again, Violet reached over the side of the boat, grabbed the shark by the fin and lifted it out of the water to reveal... a disembodied fin. Elaine blinked. Violet placed the fin back in the water and it continued gliding through it as if nothing had happened.

"It's a spell." Violet explained. "Keeps most wayward outsiders clear of this area. Assuming they can get past the doorman of course."

"The doorman?"

"Doorman, guardian, leviathan, Carl, whatever you want to call it, potato tomato." She waved it off. "Now is it safe to assume you can't hold your breath for more than a couple of minutes?"

"I'd say about... three and half, give or take." Elaine said reasonably as Violet turned her attention back to the water. "Not nearly as long as Guybrush." Elaine admitted.

"Oh?"

"My husband can hold his breath for ten minutes."

Violet turned her attention to her with a frown, a calculating expression on her face as she considered this. "No one can hold their breath for ten minutes." she said bluntly. "Are you sure he can't breathe underwater?"

Elaine almost laughed. "I found it hard to believe too, but it's one of the many talents of Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate."

"Hmm." Violet shrugged, before leaning completely over the side of the boat and submerging her head underwater.

She stayed like that for a few seconds, before she pulled her head back out of the sea with a splash, automatically wiping water out of her eyes and smiling as two dolphins surfaced amidst squeaks and clicks. She patted both of them and they nudged playfully against her hands. Elaine found herself smiling at seeing the sea mammals up close as she leaned over the boat herself to get a better look.

"They'll take us to him." Violet said. She got up, cracked her knuckles and stretched a bit. "You ready, Captain?"

"Ready for what?" Elaine tentatively reached out a hand to one of the dolphins and was rewarded when it nudged against it. It almost felt like skin, smoother yet tougher at the same time.

Violet cannonballed into the sea, causing Elaine to jump back as she got splashed with salt water. The voodoo girl surfaced and waited expectantly.

"Oh." Elaine commented. Just how many times was she going to have to get wet on this adventure? "Okay..." she took off her boots and slipped into the waters with a little more grace than her guide. The dolphin closest to her happily swam a circle around her, squeaking and clicking as dolphins do.

Violet floated over and guided Elaine's hands onto the dolphin's dorsal fin. "Take a deep breath, and hold on tight." she instructed.

Elaine did as she was told, and Violet slapped the dolphin on the back. It shot off so suddenly Elaine almost lost her grip but managed to hang on tight as she was pulled underwater with the slippery thing.

The dolphin swam fast and swam deep, past schools of silvery shiny fish, and other assorted marine life of various colours. She glimpsed yellows and blues and greens of a coral reef, the luminescent squiggly jellyfish as the dolphin took her deeper still. She looked back and could make out Violet some ways behind her, hanging on to the other dolphin. Then it went dark as the dolphin entered an underwater tunnel. It swam through a dizzying number of passages and turns, fluently navigating the labyrinth without even a hint of hesitation. The only light was provided by the luminescent marine life that intermittently swam through some of the passages, briefly lighting up some algae covered rock here, a clam there, a seaweed there before Elaine was plunged into darkness again.

She was starting to lose air, but the dolphin carried on unfazed. Just when she thought she couldn't hold her breath any longer, she was suddenly bucked off from the dolphin's back to surface into an air pocket of sorts, gasping for breath. It was a small space, barely big enough for three people to occupy. The roughhewn rock of the roof was deceivingly slippery with algae.

Violet came gasping for breath next to her a second later. "You okay?" she asked when she caught her breath.

"Yes." Elaine was still out of breath for the most part. "Is this the place?"

"No, this is just the halfway point so we can take a breather before continuing."

"Oh." Convenient. And yet. "You know I was expecting this voodoo priest to reside on a hidden island or something." Admitted Elaine, somewhat exasperatedly.

"Ha, yeeeah... like I said, he's a little... private when it comes to outsiders."

"Well how is he supposed to get customers then?"

"Oh he gets customers, just... um, you know what? Let's just go, time's-a-wasting!"

A few seconds later they were shooting through the maze again, hanging on to their guides tightly as they zoomed through it. The dolphins abruptly stopped at the mouth of a cave, illuminated strangely by whatever microscopic luminescent marine life was in the vicinity.

Violet let go and swam to the entrance, beckoning at Elaine to do the same. They swam through and surfaced at a considerably large cave. Light was thankfully provided by a few torches mounted around the wall of the cave. The torches themselves were odd to say the least, burning with a blue flame instead of a yellow one. They succeeded in giving the otherwise unremarkable cave an eerie and altogether otherworldly look.

Elaine swam to the ledge of the rocky floor and got out of the water, soaked, dripping, but glad for the time being to be out of the water. Violet joined her.

"_This_ is the place." Violet informed unnecessarily.

"Undoubtedly." Elaine said, wringing out her hair.

"Ooh, lemme help you with that." Violet muttered something and waved a purple glowing hand at Elaine and she was quite suddenly dry. She didn't bother repeating the action on herself though.

Elaine thanked her. "So where is this Sea Witch Doctor then?"

"Hmm... that's a good question... I can't quite remember how we're supposed to summon him..."

Elaine sighed inwardly and looked around as her guide thought. There was quite literally nothing in this cave save for the torches mounted on the wall.

What would Guybrush do?

One torch in particular stood out. It wasn't lit. On a whim, Elaine strode to it and yanked it. It angled out like a lever with a click and the floor suddenly started to rumble.

Violet looked around at Elaine. "Oh yeah! That was it!" She said brightly.

The rocky floor of the cave opened and slowly but surely a figure emerged, using a gigantic clam as a chair, water spilling out of the hole in the floor as it raised. He was old enough to be her father, light-coloured hair adorned his head and face as shoulder length locks and a healthy beard. A skull-engraved sea shell hung from his left ear, and even in the dim of the cave it was easy to make out the brilliant blue of the sea witch doctor's eyes and the pale skin that was relatively taught over his surprisingly well-built bare chest and torso. But these were all traits Elaine didn't take in at first. Instead, her attention was immediately drawn to the silvery powerful-looking tail and fins.

He was a merman.

Well that explained a lot.

Elaine couldn't help but gawk a little. After all she had heard enough tales of merfolk as a child and just like any girl her age she used to dream of meeting one, seeing their world, so to meet one in any lifetime was quite something indeed.

She noted how pale he was by human standards – like if he were to lie very still, it would be easy to mistake him for a corpse; probably a side-effect of living so far away from open daylight. In this light, he eerily appeared blue all over, so you had to really concentrate to notice his hair was not white but a very pale shade of blond, with a few streaks of silver to act as testament to his age. Those eyes were the only thing that weren't pale like the rest of him. In fact they were so vivid, so unsettlingly and breathtakingly bright, Elaine could swear they glowed in the dark, like a cat's eye.

Strangely, the merman seemed familiar to Elaine… and then she figured that beard was actually quite similar to her grandfather's.

"Who summons me, the Great Sea Witch Doctor of the... oh! It's you!" The doctor's voice had started out intimidatingly baritone, but when he saw the voodoo girl it surprisingly mellowed out to a lighter tone.

"Heh, actually it's her." The voodoo girl grinned and jerked her head to Elaine. "May I present Captain and Ex-Governor Elaine Marley-Threepwood? The Voodoo Lady told me to guide her here so you could provide her the answers she couldn't give."

The merman's thick white-blond eyebrows arched wide at this statement. "Is that so?" His luminescent eyes scrutinized Elaine from head to toe, giving her the distinct feeling that she was being judged for some reason.

"Yup! I guess my work here is done-"

The merman quirked an amused eyebrow and yet again Elaine found herself listening to dolphin sounds she couldn't hope to understand, these ones deeper than when Violet spoke it.

_'She knew the answers, didn't she?'_

Violet said something back in the same language to the Sea Witch Doctor, looking equally amused, _'Of course she did.'_

"And can this outsider be trusted with the secret of the mer-world?" He asked, peering at Elaine with interrogative eyes.

Violet looked at her captain expectantly. It took a moment before Elaine realised the question was directed at her.

Elaine nodded. "I give you my word." she said sincerely.

Violet smiled. "I'll just leave you two to it then." She turned to leave, and Elaine turned her head sharply to her guide.

"Um..." suddenly she was feeling uncomfortable about being left in a room alone with a merman – after all, being the governor of the Tri-Island area for so long meant diplomacy was ingrained into her, and she knew nothing of mer-customs or anything of the sort – what if she accidentally said or did something to offend him?

The voodoo girl put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, you'll be fine!" She smiled at her. "I'll meet you at the half way point, okay?"

And without waiting for an answer she dove into the water and disappeared.

Elaine watched the splash die down then turned to meet the stunning blue eyes of the Sea Witch Doctor again. His whole intimidating air was completely gone now as he smiled warmly at her. Even that smile seemed strangely familiar... she snapped out of it as he spoke.

"So you are the wife of Guybrush Threepwood then?"

Elaine found herself surprised at these words. "You know my husband?"

"I'm psychic." He shrugged one of his broad shoulders. "It's my job to know, my dear."

"Ah." Of course.

"And seeing as you are the one standing before me instead of him, clearly you are here because of some ill fate that befell him."

Elaine sighed. "Actually... he's on my ship. At least his body is." The merman's smile started to fade. "LeChuck's found a way to capture his soul, and the Voodoo Lady and her daughter believe it's to sacrifice it to a creature-"

"The Djarru." He finished grimly. His eyes glazed over. "Yes..." he spoke in a voice that was dripping with mystery. "It is true, the time of the offering is nearing. And LeChuck's party is already well on their way to obtaining the items needed to summon the beast." He reverted back to normal, eyes and all. "Time is of the essence, you must acquire these items before that undead lummox or all will be lost."

In spite of herself Elaine raised an amused eyebrow at the mysterious witch doctor referring to LeChuck as an undead lummox. Despite what he was, the merman was far less enigmatic than the Voodoo Lady.

A wave of his slightly webbed hands and what looked like a square block of coral appeared on his scaly lap. Elaine only realised it was a book when it magically flipped open to the page he was looking for. He scanned it once before carefully tearing it out. It conveniently floated over to Elaine, who caught it. It felt strangely rough to her hands, like it was made of sand or ground seashells or something similar.

"The instructions for the summoning spell." The water-breathing voodoo practitioner explained. "There are a total of four items, they already have one."

The aged page started off with a description of the creature and what it was capable of doing, Elaine skipped to the summoning recipe.

_To claim quickly your deepest desire,_

_Summon a beast of water, not fire._

_Four things you'll need, no more, no less:_

**_A thing of Screed's _**_you must possess;_

_A forever shadow needs __**eternal light**__,_

_For shadows cannot sustain at night;_

**_The song of a siren _**_lures not only men,_

_But will call out a beast from the depths of its den;_

_And when it appears, last but not least,_

**_A spirit_**_ is needed for it to feast._

Elaine shook her head exasperatedly. "I don't understand what most of this means! A thing of Screed's?"

"Bartholomew J. Screed was thought to be the first victim of the Djarru." The merman explained. "Long story short there was once a vicious sea dragon a long time ago that no one could kill until Screed, but when he did kill it the dragon's spirit was unleashed as a soul-eating monster whose first victim was the one who destroyed its outer shell. Screed was known to have lived on Dokan Island, just a few leagues north of here. I sense you'll find something of his there."

Elaine nodded, mentally noting it down. "And a forever shadow needs eternal light?"

"The creature is in essence an immortal shadow. Ironically enough, shadows cannot exist without some source of light but the recipe isn't asking for something as simple as a lighted torch. You need a light which never extinguishes. I'm afraid I'm not entirely sure what it could be referring to but I sense you'll find it on Vodun Island."

"Shouldn't I simply destroy these items?" Elaine skimmed through the list again. "How on earth am I supposed to get the voice of a siren?"

"I suggest you leave that one for last." The merman advised darkly. "Vicious beings, sirens. And yes, destroying what can be destroyed would be ideal but I sense they mostly comprise of powerful voodoo artefacts that cannot be destroyed without magic so when you obtain these items, bring them back to either me or the Voodoo Lady and we will dispose of them appropriately."

A few more minutes of discussion and a wish of good luck later, Elaine exited the cave to find Violet waiting just outside it, instead of at the halfway point, apparently conversing with a dolphin. When Violet looked up, she pointed at Elaine then at the dolphin, then pointed at herself and at the mouth of cave. Then she tapped her wrist and held up two fingers.

It was quite clear actually, Elaine was to take the dolphin back to the surface while Violet was going to talk to the Sea Witch Doctor for a couple of minutes.

Elaine nodded and held up two fingers back. _Just two minutes. _Time was of the essence, as she was told, and she really didn't want to be delayed any further than was absolutely necessary.

The cave was empty when Violet re-entered it, but she paid no heed to that. Instead, she swam to a patch of wall under the ledge that was slightly different to the area of rock around it, opened the secret door easily and swam inside to the underwater room beyond.

She sniffed. "I like what you did with the incense." She complimented.

The merman looked up from where he was cleaning his giant clam chair-turned-table in the centre of the room. "Yes, thank you, I thought it was a nice touch myself." He smiled at her and held out his arms, and she swam right into them. "I've missed that hug!" He laughed, embracing her tightly and ruffling her braids. "How are you, baby?"

"Fantastic, Dad." She grinned back. "I meant to visit sooner, sorry, but-"

"Yes yes, I foresaw you'd come across a few setbacks, but it's a good thing Guybrush Threepwood was there to help you." They separated. "And that was his wife!" He sounded impressed.

"Yeah, what did you think of her?"

He nodded. "He has excellent taste in women." he approved.

The voodoo girl laughed. "Careful, I'll tell Mom what you said."

He chuckled. "Speaking of which, how is she? I must say it was somewhat cunning of her, purposefully not telling Mrs Threepwood everything just to include me in the vision circle."

"Right?" Violet agreed. "She obviously had in mind the fact that this place is directly en route to the ingredients. Anyways, she's good. Actually," she remembered, "she gave me something to give you!" The woman rummaged through her little bag and pulled out a pot that was far too big for the bag. Whatever contents were in it, strangely, did not spill out despite being underwater. She handed the pot to him. "Some fondue she was working on." She explained.

The sea witch doctor opened the pot and sniffed it appreciatively. "Does it have any skink toes in it?"

"A few."

"She always knows exactly what I want." he smiled as he swam over to the table and set it down.

"Well she _is_ psychic." Violet said fairly.

"True, true… the project?"

Violet sighed. "On hold. For now."

"Understandable. Planning on staying longer?"

She shook her head. "I have to start getting back now. I just stopped by to say hi, but if I don't get back soon they might think I drowned or something."

"Ah, so you didn't tell them-"

"Nope." She said, popping the 'p' sound.

"That's my girl." He pulled her into his arms again and hugged her tightly, and longer than usual, hesitant to let go even when Violet started squirming, eyes rolling at her father's obvious over-protectiveness. She was a hugger, sure, but it was nothing compared to her father.

"Okay Dad, I really should go now..."

"Oh, take this before you leave." He let her go and handed her a conch shell with minute markings engraved and inked into it and a chain piercing the corner.

"What's this?" she asked, taking it.

"A pass for Carl."

Violet huffed. "Since when do we need a pass?! Tony always lets me through without a hitch, but _this_ guy didn't even budge when I said it was an emergency and we needed your help, didn't believe me and laughed when I said I was your daughter and then he knocked me out when I tried to show him my voodoo signature! Oh! And then he went and freaking _capsized_ the ship! He was actually physically incapable of _not_ killing us until I reminded him of his job!"

She inwardly scowled at the memory of trying to talk the beast into stopping when he was about to attack her a second time. _"You may not believe my identity or my intentions, but have you forgotten the oath by which you live? As the Guardian, your job is to protect the secret of the merfolk, but as the Doorman your only job is only to send humans away, not kill them! Or has that changed too?!" _Carl had had the gall to hesitate at this before the unexpected had happened.

The older merman frowned at this. "Then how did you get past?" Elaine had mentioned the attack and the damage to her ship to him but he hadn't asked the details.

"The cook knocked him out." Violet deadpanned.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of this nose. "The Brotherhood of the Doormen of the Sea Witch Doctor... is under new management – the guardians have been taking turns since Tony retired last month. Carl started this week, I think he was just excited at finally having something to do. Looks like I'll be needing to have a chat with him." He shook his head. "Now go on before your friends come for you!"

Violet complied. "I'll be sure to come visit for longer after this is all over!"

"You'd better!"

Violet gave him one final smile, waved at him and swam out quickly. The Sea Witch Doctor's smile faded as he watched her disappear.

"If you can." He murmured.

A moment of silence before he noticed a source of light blinking from one of the shelves. He allowed himself a half smile as he retrieved the large covered object, placed it on the table, and whipped the cover off the large crystal ball.

"My love," He said graciously, bowing to the ball, "it has been far too long but even so, your beauty still remains a beacon to my heart." He smiled a little cockily, earning an amused smile from the Voodoo Lady as she shook her head.

"Romantic fool." The Voodoo Lady muttered half-heartedly. Then she took a quick glance around just to be sure she was truly alone, before saying in a series of amateur-sounding clicks and squeaks: _'But you're my romantic fool.'_

The Sea Witch Doctor chuckled at this. "Don't forget it was _this_ fool that first introduced you to the world of voodoo and taught you to speak the tongue of the sea!" He winked.

"I have never forgotten, and I never will." The Voodoo Lady reassured. "Because _you_ will never let me forget it."

The merman genuinely laughed at this – it was a light boyish laughter that quickly became contagious and the Voodoo Lady found herself joining in against her better judgement.

"No respect for the half-fish!" He protested light-heartedly.

"Why should I? Come now dear, out of the two of us we both know who wears the pants in this family."

"Of course, but to be fair it's not like I have much say in the matter…" He gestured vaguely to his tail, causing them both to laugh again.

It was a small reprieve from the stresses of the day, from the horrors to come, and all too soon the laughter died down as reality sunk in, bringing silence with it.

"You saw something you didn't like." The Voodoo Lady stated after some silence passed.

"Is that what your senses told you?" The merman joked weakly, frowning a little.

"I don't have to be psychic to know something's bothering you, dear, I only have to see your face."

The Sea Witch Doctor sighed and nodded and, banter long over, the two voodoo practitioners of different worlds began to discuss their visions.

* * *

**Yes this is indeed another uncanny coincidence with Tales, but my merpeople look a little more Disney and are pretty much forbidden from human contact. Still weird though, right? :P**


	10. The most powerful magic of all

**As usual, a piratey thanks to my friend and beta KissMeHardyA113 ;)**

* * *

"How does the Voodoo Lady know that merman?" Elaine asked the voodoo girl some time later when they were back on the ship and well on their way. The Sea Witch Doctor had graciously given them a spell to fix the damage the leviathan had done, and now the Rabid Monkey was sailing as smoothly as it had done before.

"I don't know all the details but she was quite the adventuress when she was younger, you know, before she settled down. She met the Sea Witch Doctor on one of her adventures so they've known each other for quite a few years."

"Ah. Was she looking for mer-people, or...?"

"Nah it was completely by accident. No one ever finds anything cool by _looking_ for it after all." She joked as Elaine agreed to herself that she had a point. "If you don't mind me asking, Captain, what's the deal with this LeChuck guy? My mom didn't tell me many details about it except that he's been an annoyance to you two ever since he found the treasure of Big Whoop."

"Ha, well 'annoyance' has become something of an understatement." Elaine sighed as she looked out to sea. "He's been hell-bent (literally) on making me his bride ever since I met him, even before he turned undead. He simply can't take no for an answer! You'd think the ring would be proof enough that I'm just not into him," Elaine examined the massive diamond ring on her hand fondly, "and yet he has done nothing but kidnap me and try to remove Guybrush from the picture over the years." A thoughtful pause. "LeChuck's tried so hard to keep us apart. Any other man would've run for the hills and not even attempt to ask me out at the mere thought of what LeChuck would do to them, but not Guybrush."

"True love if I ever saw it." Violet was genuinely smiling at Elaine's story, listening attentively with wide child-like eyes and drinking in the story of the Threepwoods' romance. She had so little experience with relationships herself after all. "It's the most powerful magic in the realm of voodoo, true love."

"Hmm." Elaine smiled to herself as she reflected on the memories of her and Guybrush's adventures together.

"So…" Violet bit her lower lip in excitement, leaning forwards a bit. "Was it love at first sight?"

Elaine couldn't help chuckle at what distinctly felt like a teenager asking her girl friend how a date went.

"Actually, yes." Elaine admitted, earning a little squeak from the other woman to her amusement. "Never thought it was possible but that's exactly what it was! We had a break up not long afterwards but all that did was make me miss him and the next thing I knew, he was proposing and I was saying yes!" She held up her ring hand.

Violet's eyes had gone impossibly wider. "He _proposed_ with _that?_"

"Well technically it was another cursed version of this ring but Guybrush fixed it like he always does."

Violet blinked at that, not expecting to hear the word 'cursed' in a proposal story, but then shook it off. "So was the whole family at the wedding?"

Elaine smiled a little sadly at that. "It was more spur of the moment, so no family. At the time I didn't know my grandfather was alive, and Guybrush doesn't seem to remember much about his parents except that they abandoned him… and appeared in a couple of his more stranger dreams…" Elaine said thoughtfully. "But after the wedding he told me that it didn't matter, because all he needed was me."

Violet covered her mouth and smiled, touched.

"He's always been such a pathetic romantic, that man. And he has always been there for me when I needed him the most (or when I didn't for that matter)." She was thinking out loud now, talking more to herself. "We've found ourselves separated many times, but we always find each other in the end."

Elaine's smile faded at the thought of the empty shell of her husband wandering around the captain's quarters. It was different this time. It was Guybrush who was the proverbial damsel in distress now, and wherever the real Guybrush was, he was not going anywhere. Not without her help anyway.

Elaine sighed. "He's had it worse than me." Elaine admitted. It was the unfortunate price for being romantically associated with her, she knew. "LeChuck's tried to kill him, make him his undead slave, string him up in traps, torture him with voodoo dolls, play mind games with him, turn him into a ten-year old, the list just goes on."

"Mind games?" Violet asked.

"Yes, LeChuck had him under a spell once that made him think they were brothers."

"Say _what?!_" Violet was appalled for whatever reason.

"I know." It was funny in retrospect. "They don't even look alike."

Violet faked a cough to conceal a laugh. "Well you'd be surprised – genetics can throw you a wild card sometimes. I don't look _anything_ like my dad." she admitted. "But tricking him into thinking that he was his brother? That's just so... cruel! I mean, making him believe that all this time the guy giving him so much grief was his own flesh and blood!" Elaine raised an eyebrow at the younger woman's passion on this subject. "I'd be crushed to know my brother would do that to me!"

"Oh, you have a brother?" Elaine asked, genuinely interested in the family of the mysterious Voodoo Lady. She literally knew nothing about her after all.

Violet hesitated and sighed. "No." She said with a hint of sorrow. "But if I did I'd give everything for him." she declared.

The tell-tale rocking of the ship was little warning before, yet again, they found themselves in the shadow of the towering Carl the Leviathan.

Elaine automatically jumped back, drawing her sword, mind already formulating a plan to bring down the beast a second time. Violet, however, narrowed her eyes at the creature, glaring daggers at it as she reached into her bag, pulled out the conch shell by the chain and held it high above her head for the whole world to see.

Carl seemed to cringe at this, bowing his gargantuan head as he rumbled out a few leviathan sounds.

Violet folded her arms. "Tell that to my migraine." she said bluntly. The creature lowered its head further and growled out something. Violet raised an eyebrow and clicked something back to it. Then Carl was gone, receding back into the depths from whence he came.

"What was all that about?" Elaine asked, sheathing her sword as she watched the silhouette of the creature fade into nonexistence.

"An apology for before." Violet replied. "And a promise to come whenever we need him, to make up for the trouble. All you have to do is call him with this." She handed the ornately carved conch shell to her captain. "You keep it. Carl understands human speech so he'll get what you tell him."

Elaine cocked an eyebrow. "If he can understand humans why were you talking to him in that fish language the first time?"

"I was trying to make a point." Violet sighed. "Didn't work out the way I'd planned. Obviously I was counting on the guardian to not be such a freaking _moron_." She threw her hands up in the air at the last word. "Now if you'll allow me, Captain, I have a residual headache I should really sleep off." Elaine nodded her approval and Violet hopped down from where she was sitting and sulked off, clearly peeved at being reminded of the actions of the incompetent Carl.

Elaine inspected the item in her hand carefully. For all intents and purposes it looked like any regular conch shell with its pink and white hues, with the exception of those fascinating markings. They were tattooed like ribbons around the whole shell in a sort of spiral design, which succeeded in making it look appropriately voodoo-y and aesthetically pleasing at the same time. It was also very polished to the point where her hazy reflection could be seen blurred on its shiny surface.

Not having the luxury of the extra-large pockets her husband prides himself in, she settled with tying the chain to the scabbard of her cutlass and letting it hang there. An item like this seemed important enough to keep on her person at all times.

She leaned against the handrail and took out the soul-compass. It was somewhat comforting to see that despite all the setbacks she had suffered so far, she still seemed to be ahead of Largo. Elaine lightly touched the surface of the old heirloom and not for the first time wondered if her husband was okay.

Miles away aboard an intimidating old ship in a small dingy room hanging on a coat hanger next to a bra, a creepy skull lantern hung still. It began to move slightly, rocking with every pulse of blue light.

_Hrrr! _Guybrush tried again to push against the walls of his unlikely prison. It seemed that every time he did it the thing moved back and forth, like it was hanging from something. Guybrush went with it and pushed against the opposite side with the movement of the container. It swung even more. He repeated pushing his very essence against the rocking sides of the lantern, starting to feel like he was in an amusement park on one of those ship rides that went up and down. Just before the proverbial ride was about to go one-eighty, he felt it stop rocking suddenly. A few moments of the feeling of floating and then clunk! His soul jarred as the lantern hit the floor.

He stopped moving and tried to sense any sound or movement beyond this trap. Nothing. The lantern was undamaged but lay on its side and slowly but surely began to roll in one direction as Guybrush tested the movement. He honestly had no idea what he was doing but if there was even the tiniest chance his shenanigans could get him out of here and back to his body and his wife, then he'd take it. If he was lucky he'd roll off something high enough to break free of this prison. He figured once he was free he'd just get sucked back into his body or something.

The lantern rolled along the floor, conveniently towards the open door. It bounced down the three steps and continued rolling. It was now on the deck and rolling with the movement of the ship. Miraculously, none of the skeletons or other assorted undead noticed the wayward lantern as it rolled away between skeletal feet and crates and barrels as the undead continued carrying out their ship duties.

Guybrush kept going, faster now that he could sense there were others around. Faster and faster it rolled along the deck. The ship hit a particularly strong wave which sent the lantern rolling towards the plank. It rolled right to the edge of the plank and over Guybrush went to certain freedom... until a hand snatched it out of the air in mid-fall.

"Jus' where do ye think _ye're_ going, Sheepgood?"

Largo.

Guybrush's version of a disappointed sigh was expressed by the dimming of his blue essence. "Funny as it was to watch ya do that, we can't have ya rollin' around loose before LeChuck can get a hold of ya!"

Of course Largo noticed.

Guybrush inwardly grumbled as he was taken back to wherever he was being kept before. This sucked. He couldn't even bang his head against the wall in frustration - there was no head to bang! All he could do was stay in here and wait for Elaine to rescue him instead of the other way round. Not that he had any doubt that she could do it – he married the most beautiful and hard-headed woman in the Caribbean – there was nothing his plunder bunny couldn't accomplish, especially when it involved him.

Still though, LeSchmuck had a knack for kidnapping his wife. What if she was already captured? Or hurt? Or dead? Or worse? Guybrush wished he had his captain's log to write this all down.

"Let's see ya get out of _that._"

The lantern was set down on a flat surface, and no sooner than did Guybrush sense the receding footsteps did he try to topple his cage again, only to find that he couldn't. He could slide it along the surface up to a certain point but was stopped by another barrier on all sides. The thing seemed to be in a box or a drawer or something. Guybrush Threepwood. Trapped in a drawer. It was the second most humiliating situation he's ever been in, even more humiliating than walking around town dressed like a giant chicken.

He stopped trying and sulked. After a moment he noticed he was feeling a little strange, a little more detached than usual. On second thought that feeling had been there a while, gradually increasing until Guybrush was suddenly aware of it. He wondered if that was a bad thing. He wondered about Elaine for the hundredth time. The lantern dimmed.

* * *

**About time we had Guybrush try something, no?**

**There *might* be a considerable hiatus before I put up the next chapter as I haven't... quite... written it yet...**


End file.
